Right around the end of the spring semester, I had a really fun time with a girl I met on campus. We weren’t dating exclusively, but we would go to parties together, out for drinks, etc., at least once a week for about a month. We’d always end up in bed afterwards, and she would sleep over, since I live alone. Anyway, we parted ways this summer and have kept in casual touch—mainly through Facebook and Instagram, liking posts and leaving comments.
I’m back in town now for the fall, and totally want to see her again. I feel shy, though, since things were so casual, and I have no idea if she met someone this summer. Any tips on how to “rekindle” this thing?
Hey, don’t call yourself that! Personally, I don’t think it’s a bad thing to reach out to an old hookup with hope—dating can be frustrating, boring and even traumatizing for some of us, and familiarity is safety. I don’t like the term “getting zombied,” because that’s a very disrespectful way to refer to someone who trusted you enough to be nude and vulnerable with you, even for just one night. A feeling person gives up something very personal and intimate in bed, and I think it’s an honor if someone wants to share that with you again.
Also, you’re clearly not trying to “zombie” this woman. What you’ve described is casual, yes, but not so casual that one would make your idea inappropriate. You’ve just gotta roll the dice, friend. Reach out to her and let her know that you wanna hang out. She’ll either say yes or no, right? You’re obviously not a random hookup creeping on someone who doesn’t return your affections. You are this woman’s friend, and she seems to have returned your affections for her. I know it’s awkward to try to holla at someone you haven’t touched in months, but you’ve got a solid foundation with her. Just tap into the charm and personality that got you boo’d up in the first place, and reach out. Best of luck!
I wanted to respond to the conversation you had with the reader asking about her landlord (“Hot Roommate > Bad Landlord?”, July 31). You’re absolutely right that landlords in Athens get away with doing the bare minimum—or worse—often because uninformed youngsters in their first apartments don’t even know they have rights. Georgia Legal Aid has a variety of resources on their website (georgialegalaid.org), and the Athens Access to Justice Initiative, along with the Georgia Legal Service Program, host a weekly Court Help session on Wednesdays specifically geared toward landlord/ tenant issues. A GLSP attorney is available from 2–4 p.m. in Magistrate Court to give free (albeit limited) legal advice to tenants facing legal issues (mainly eviction).
Thank you for writing and providing more detailed information about tenants’ rights. Now that all the youth are flooding back into town, a lot of them will certainly end up breaking a lease or moving into an absolute dump, and knowing your rights around home rental is key to coming out unscathed in situations like that. Please avoid ruining your credit at 19, but I am also reminded of the little bird who told me there is a renters blacklist in this town specifically focused on tenants who have exercised their rights and called out bad property management. (This is nothing but a rumor, and I have absolutely nothing to back this up, but I do have friends who have reported landlords for code violations just to be turned down on every rental application they make after that.)
It’s all a big gamble, like most things in life, but going in as informed as possible is the best way to deal with your first landlord. Like I said, property managers and people who rent are not inherently bad, shyster types, but the law leans very hard in their favor. You’d be doing yourself a disservice not to take advantage of the options JJFAD has mentioned if you’re in a bind.
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