If you’re like me, you probably think the best things about Waffle House are that you can walk there in your pajamas at 3 a.m. when you’re only 15, and they will serve you hash browns without calling DFACS, and that if you play “He Stopped Loving Her Today” on the jukebox, it’s guaranteed that most of the other diners will begin crying softly. Probably very few people, when asked “What’s the best thing about Waffle House?” would answer, “They cater!” But cater they do.
I had to find out with what, and to whom, Waffle House provides this service. I would cheerfully have Waffle House cater my next hangover, but my wedding? Call me crazy, but “holy matrimony” and “scattered and smothered” just don’t mix. (If you don’t agree, perhaps you’ve married the wrong person.)
Waffle House district manager ZackhButtimer.
Zach Buttimer, a district manager for Waffle House, is out to change this perception with an expanded menu that allows for more than just barbecues and tailgate parties. They have indeed catered some formal events with hearty food your relatives would recognize, like steaks and baked potatoes. And once they get their portable grill, Zach maintains, the sky is the limit.
“We’ll send out our team of grill ops,” explains Zach, causing me to picture a clutch of burly men dressed in maroon and pink camo, crawling on their bellies towards a smoking grill. “These are highly trained grillers who also look very presentable. We’ll be able to cater from a hole in the ground!”
That’s an impressive claim, but, depending on your budget, maybe not the reassurance you’d look for if you were shopping for someone to cater your wedding. So, how will Zach make Waffle House synonymous with nuptials?
“Waffle House is classic Southern food. We epitomize the South, and the food here. If you’re having a wedding, people come from all over. So, for a Southern wedding, why not showcase the food that Southerners eat?”
This answer makes sense, but you’d expect an employee of Waffle House to say this. I can’t just take Zach’s word for it. I decide to call a professional—someone who has been planning weddings for decades. She’ll hear “Waffle House” and “wedding reception” and gently suggest a chocolate fountain, or something that fits on a cracker.
But Donna Pahl, owner of Carefree Celebrations, surprises me.
“Everybody loves Waffle House,” she asserts. “Plus, brides and grooms are not doing traditional weddings any more. They want something out of the box. Waffle House has a dependable product that has a kind of funky, retro feel to it. The main thing is pleasing all the different guests you have. They want food they’re going to like, and Waffle House has enough variety to do that.”
“So, you don’t think it’s a bad idea?”
“A bad idea? I’ll tell you what’s a bad idea. Big bowls of steamed okra. I love fried okra, but if you go to a reception and all they have are big, slimy bowls of steamed okra, well, that’s just the worst thing that can happen. Also, stewed squirrel. Do not ask me to find someone to provide stewed squirrel at your wedding reception. I just won’t do it. But Waffle House is awesome.”
Armed with a new perspective, I phone Diane Bell, who organized a wedding shower recently for a friend’s son at the Five Points Waffle House. With her soft Southern accent and impeccable phone manners, she’s clearly not the type who’d spend Sunday afternoon sitting in a plastic chair in the back of a pickup, drinking cans of Miller Lite and watching the neighbor’s dogs lick her toddlers. If this refined woman endorses Waffle House for weddings, then I’ll have no choice but to abandon my snooty prejudices and get in line.
“Oh, those Waffle House folks were so gracious,” she remembers. “We all of us took our balloons down there and just took over one half of the restaurant. They brought in extra cooks to help, and the staff were so kind. It really was special for Jeff and Katherine [the couple], because they spent so much time there while they were dating.
“We were all just tickled to death to be there. Both those kids come from good, successful families, and are very traditional. But I think Waffle House really represents the identities of these two families, what they were and are. Close, and down-to-earth. That’s them, and the Waffle House just fits right in.”
So, Zach is right about both the appeal of Waffle House’s food and its role as a touchstone of Southern culture. Sure, local restaurants may have more carefully crafted dishes, but it appears that Waffle House has a hold on people that transcends mere food. We want our important events to mean something, and for lots of folks, Waffle House means family, and home.
So, I guess I need to rethink my knee-jerk reaction to Waffle House’s dreams of empire, and instead of questioning them, drop a quarter in the jukebox, get a warmer on my coffee and start planning my anniversary party.
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