On the Road with Chief Scout, Heyrocco and Concord America: ‘Dale Weiners’ Reports

Chief Scout, Heyrocco and Concord America are reporting for Flagpole from the road.

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Dale Weiners, a man who has worn many hats, and also shoes, in his life. I just graduated from the Tijuana Online School of Journalism and Children’s Dentistry, where I got my associates degree in music reviewism and I attempted a minor in fixing children’s toothbrushes.

Once I make enough money from my side job as Head of Soap Changing Operations in the Oconee County Middle School system, I’ll go back and finish my degree. I was, until recently, a very successful hot dog proprietor in the area. I used to be the Hot Dog King! I couldn’t be stopped. I was slingin’ as many as 100 wieners a day. That’s a lotta meat-swingin’ if you ask me! This is where my story begins.

I hopped in the van with Concord America in Atlanta. they’re traveling with this other band called Chief Scout from Athens, and they tell me they’re meeting ANOTHER band, Heyrocco, in Nashville, who will be joining them for the rest of the jaunt. As far as the ride goes, it wasn’t bad! A little cramped, a little smelly, but all in all pretty comfortable. I mean I’ve been sleeping in a car for awhile now, so I’m pretty used to it.

We get to Nashville around 7 p.m. and arrive at this place called Queen Avenue Art Collective. This makes no sense to me. I’m used to going out to the neighborhood bar and watching the guys who cover those songs from the ’80s that I like, like Whitesnake and KISS and Guns ‘n Roses. Those guys know how to rock out with their you-know-whats out, you know what I’m sayin’?!

So, I never seen anything like this place before—bring your own drinks, stand around all night, not really my thing. But the bands were alright! Chief Scout played first; they were pretty good. They kinda reminded me of the Mamas and the Papas, except they don’t have no chicks in the band and they don’t really have no harmonies and the music is totally different. The crowd liked em quite a bit too!

Then Concord America played, and I wanted to trash these guys big time, because I have dreams about stapling their fingers together, but they played a tight set too. They’re like a Bon Jovi-meets-Dolly-Parton kinda thing, but no country, and the hair isn’t big. This guy Ben, all he does is break strings, I swear. He musta broke four strings on two different guitars. That longhaired guy from the first band had to keep changing them for him.

Then Heyrocco played, and man, I never seen nobody bring a crowd of babes like that. They just follow these guys around—it’s crazy! They mellowed things out a bit. They had some songs that i really liked. I was a big Savage Garden fan back in the day, so they really hit close to home. The hometown guys, Gunther Doug, closed the show with some good old fashioned rollickin’ rock and roll, like if the Stones wrote songs about turtles and also weren’t British and lived in Tennessee and were younger and had a different name.

You woulda thought these guys might actually be famous if you saw the way these kids banged around the room, but they’re definitely not famous, because they got no money. 

After that, we decided it was party time. These guys really like to do it up! Rum and cokes until 4 in the morning—I couldn’t keep up. I conked out around 1:30, but those guys were up makin’ dick jokes until about 5 in the morning. Jesus, they already give me agita.

The next day, I spent most of my morning waiting for them to get up, then they gotta goof off for a while, then they gotta pack the car, then they leave stuff behind and we gotta go back and get it. They tell me today is the day they go to Bowling Green, KY. “Where?” I says? They say they love it there, they got all kinda friends and goons everywhere, sounds like fun. I never been. They also said they were playin someplace called The Castle. I imagined this big place with at least a refrigerator or chips or something. Would you believe it was some dump a buncha kids lived in?!

It was like a zoo—crazy kids everywhere punching holes in the walls, putting cigarettes out in the carpet, throwing each other around the room, spraypainting stuff. I thought the floor was gonna cave in. You couldn’t hear a damn thing—it was just noise. You woulda thought these guys might actually be famous if you saw the way these kids banged around the room, but they’re definitely not famous, because they got no money. You can tell, they wear the same thing all the time, and thats what I do, because I don’t got no money either.

I woke up on somebody’s floor the next morning with a dry mouth and a hankering for some hotcakes. First two days—so far, so good.