AdviceHey, Bonita!

Moldy Homes and Hesitant Hearts

Hey, Bonita,

My homeowners insurance forced/sent a company into my home who were supposed to be mold experts. Come to find out, they weren’t. During remediation of my bathroom, they didn’t follow proper protocol, and I was in the home. I got very sick, and now my insurance company won’t pay to fix my house or pay for my medical costs. I have called upwards of 40–50 lawyers but can’t get one to take my case. My house has been unlivable for about 18 months. What can I do? 

That really sucks, but it sounds to me like you’ve already done everything you could do. You’ve already contacted 40–50 lawyers, you say, who have all refused to take your case based on (what I can assume is) much more detailed information than you’ve given me. I’m not a lawyer myself, but I can see that this is stressing you out and probably not helping you handle the health effects of the mold issue. If it’s been a year and a half and no lawyer will take your case, it might be time to cut your losses and focus on moving forward. I know you feel cheated and slighted and you want justice, but we don’t always get justice. Right now, you definitely should not be living in a moldy home while also dealing with the possibility of catching COVID-19. Take the steps to live healthily and without stress by dropping that insurance company and determining what can be done about your home. It might mean a full-on renovation or something else time-consuming and pricey, but you’ve spent almost two years fighting an uphill battle and raising your blood pressure over this. It’s time to focus on what’s most important here—you—and get your home liveable and your life more comfortable.

 Howdy Bonita,

So my boyfriend and I started dating our senior of college. We met in lab, and from there our friendship really blossomed, and we fell in love. I wholeheartedly believe my current boyfriend has got to be the perfect guy for me. I really do mean it.

However, there is one thing that worries me: We’re both pre-med. Great, right?!—two potential doctors in love. But, umm, neither of us know where we’re going or where we’ll end up. We’re both taking a gap year in between undergrad and med school, so we’ve got time to figure this out. He has mentioned that he is not interested in a long distance relationship. Given our differing accolades, he and I are destined to go to different med schools. Recently, I’ve been kind of down about this, because I’m in a relationship that I love. Also, for the first time in my college career, I am happy. Now that I have him in my life, it’s morphed into, “Well how did I get on without him?” He’s my best friend.

It’s hard to stay happy when (1) there’s a dang pandemic and (2) he and I both know this relationship will end.

Please help


A *future* sex-positive doctor

Hey Doc,

Could you two maybe do your gap year together, or perhaps make plans that have you meeting up here and there? I’ve also known of couples who opened up their relationships during time apart, but that requires lots of honesty and communication and trust, and it isn’t a decision that couples should make lightly. Still, polyamory is just as legit as monogamy, so I wanted to throw that out there as an option.

You sound head-over-heels, and I assume that the feeling is mutual for your man. The easiest thing to do is to just be honest with him. You don’t wanna break up after graduation, so maybe it’s time to revisit that conversation about long-distance relationships. I used to say all the time that I didn’t want kids, but 39-year-old me knows that 18 year-old me was not speaking from the heart. Outlooks and attitudes change over time. Congrats to you both on graduating, and good luck. You both sound like keepers.