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AdviceHey, Bonita!

My Coughing Co-Worker Has Cancer


Hey Bonita,

I wrote to you a few weeks ago about my coworker’s awful cough, and I have a pretty shocking update. She’s a proud breast cancer survivor, and in a recent staff meeting, our supervisor informed us that her cancer had returned and was in her lungs—hence, the coughing. I feel like such a jerk! I’m so glad that I didn’t get a chance to talk to her about it, as she has been absent from work since I wrote to you, but the guilt I feel is terrible! Also, I’m not the only one in the office who feels like they have egg on their face. Any tips on a way to make amends which could be helpful for her?

The Worst Co-Worker EVER

I cursed out loud in surprise in the privacy of my home when I first read your update. Yeah, I’d feel pretty bad if I were you, too! But don’t be too hard on yourself. You had no idea what was causing her cough and why she wasn’t trying to curb it in a close-quarters office environment, so I’d say your annoyance was justified. I’m also beyond happy that you literally didn’t have the chance to take my advice, since your co-worker was out of the office. Now that would have been beyond embarrassing.  

Since you’re not the only one who feels bad for hating on her cancerous cough, I think that you and your coworkers should reach out and offer some support.  I can’t imagine how scary it must be to get over cancer just to have it reappear later in life, and I bet she’d appreciate kind words and friendly company. Take her out for karaoke. Pass a collection plate around the office and scrape up some money for her to spend as she desires, or send her flowers. In the event that she has to miss work because of this, I strongly encourage y’all to set up a meal train for her. I had a big surgery a few years ago, and that meal train just about saved my life. It was great to eat home-cooked meals from my coworkers and have them visit my home when they dropped off food.

I don’t think it’s necessary to let her know that you were ever this annoyed with her cough. Coworkers aren’t perfect, and gross stuff happens sometimes, so just forgive yourself and start scheduling that meal train. Her cancer has returned, and I am positive that she will appreciate her coworkers having her back as she works through beating her diagnosis yet again.

Where can I find hot girls that like to party in Athens?

Ordinarily I wouldn’t answer a question so short—or one where I have to correct all the capitalization and punctuation—but it’s slim pickings in my inbox this week, and also this is actually a pretty decent question, if by “party” you mean “have sex shortly after meeting someone.”  

Guess what, straight guys? Women love sex! We literally love it. We want to have sex just as much as you do, and our standards can be very simple and very flexible, too. If you aren’t getting past the initial introduction stage of cruising for tail, then I bet you’re coming on way too strong upfront. I wouldn’t go home with a dude who opened with a sleazy come-on, because it would raise concerns for me about his bedroom behavior. Women also don’t go home with dudes who are gropey or rude with their flirting, because it’s a sign that you might ignore us if we say no. Looks don’t matter for most people nearly as much as we all like to think. This town is carpeted in ass, but flirting is also about mutual respect, and that sentiment needs to be clear from the jump. Just be nice upfront and follow her lead.  


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