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Athens Power Rankings for the Week of July 6

Welcome to Athens Power Rankings. In the spirit of sports rating systems, through painstaking analysis, we rank the top movers and shakers in the Classic City each week. Who’s hot? Who’s not? Find out below.

1. George Washington

2. Benjamin Franklin

By virtue of being on the $100 bill, he’s probably the most name-checked historical figure in hip hop. Please read his Wikipedia page if you ever want to feel bad about your accomplishments in life.

3. James Madison

No reason, really. He sounds pretty cool. Jefferson could go here, if you’re down with the whole raping-your-slaves thing.

4. Samuel Adams

IDK what he did during the Revolutionary War, but he makes OK beer.

5. John Adams

The 18th Century master of the sick burn. He once called Alexander Hamilton “the bastard brat of a Scottish peddler.”