Hey Bonita,
I feel torn. I currently work at a job I LOVE. I will not mention the [company’s] name for legal purposes, but it has been made clear to me that this will only be a part-time gig with no potential to become full-time any time soon. There are laws in place that restrict me from finding a second job doing similar work. I am put in the position to find a second job that’s not affiliated with my current position, which makes my options very slim. I also pay out of pocket for health insurance due to my job not offering part-time workers benefits.
I am now considering leaving this job to get a stable 9 to 5 with benefits. I can’t commit to a decision. The job I currently have brings me so much happiness. I come to work excited and passionate. It breaks my heart to even be considering leaving. I know financially I would be better off with a 9 to 5, but I would be less fulfilled emotionally. At what point do you choose between money and happiness?
Sincerely,
A lost soul
Hey Lost Soul,
Choosing your financial well-being over a fun job is an experience that most working people will have at some point, and I think you would benefit greatly from managing your expectations around work. Specifically, the idea that work should make us feel loved or fulfilled in some way.
Most work isn’t fun to do, even for someone who chooses a line of work because they found it to be fun at some point. It stops being fun when our choice is taken away, and we are forced to do what we love to keep the lights on. Everyone I know who turned a personal passion into a side hustle eventually has to do some of the not-fun housekeeping that comes along with being self-employed. If anything, it’s demoralizing to send pitch after pitch and get no response, and tax season alone is enough to make a freelancer want to expatriate. The joyful side hustle turns into an albatross instead of a dream job, and it takes mindfulness to keep hold of the joy that made us want to go into business for ourselves anyway.
I’m so happy that you are excited and passionate about the work that you do—work that clearly doesn’t meet your financial needs, which is the absolute minimum of what a worker should expect from a workplace. But you assume that a 9 to 5 with benefits will not be a passionate or exciting experience, and my response to that is: So what? I would ask you why you expect a job to do for you what people and hobbies are supposed to (actualization and fulfillment), and I would also ask why you think your financial security is not as valuable as enjoying a job. How is a job more important than you, the actual body and soul that has to do that work? I think we truly feel joy and fulfillment when we can relax and feel secure in our existence, and your current job is causing tangible problems by not providing enough work for you, not to mention the non-compete clause that has you trapped in a really bad spot. Doesn’t sound like fulfillment to me.
You deserve a job that supports you the way it should, and you will struggle to find joy in work for the rest of your life if you expect work to make you feel valuable. Work can’t love us back. Why can’t jobs just do what they’re meant to and keep us housed and fed? We’ve all heard the viral audio clip, and that person is right: There are no dream jobs because in a perfect world, no one would dream of labor. We should not look to an environment that can and will unceremoniously dump/fire us and expect it to make our hearts feel whole. We should not have to rationalize the removal of our choice by telling ourselves that work loves us. Get yourself taken care of, and seek love from places that can reciprocate that feeling. Your job can’t do that.
Need advice? Email advice@flagpole.com, or use our anonymous online form at flagpole.com/get-advice.
Like what you just read? Support Flagpole by making a donation today. Every dollar you give helps fund our ongoing mission to provide Athens with quality, independent journalism.
