Advicereality check

Reality Check

My friend and I met this guy on the same night at the same time. He is a friend of my friend “John,†and as soon as I saw him, I was, like, oh my god. He and I locked eyes, smiled and shook hands politely, and then I had to go because I was at work, but I asked them what they were doing later, and the guy made a big point to tell me where they were going and that I should meet them when I was done with work. My friend “Chrissy,†who works with me, came up to me, like, an hour later and was, like, “Holy cow, did you see John’s friend? He is so totally hot!†And I was, like, I know and I already talked to him and, my god, we totally have to meet up with them after work.

So, we did, and this friend, “Dave,†was super nice, and we hung out, and Chrissy talked to him, too, but it was obvious by the end of the night that he and I had totally clicked. We stayed out way too late and drank too much, and at the end of the night he asked me if I would go out with him the next weekend. Now Chrissy is super mad at me, and I don’t think she’s being fair because I technically met him first and, besides, he likes me, and why should I be sorry? She says I always get what I want and it isn’t fair. Am I really supposed to not go out with him because she likes him, too? I don’t see how this is right.


Had she known him first, and for a long time, and had been telling you how much she liked him, and then you met him and dated him, I could see her being mad. But if you both met him at virtually the same time, it isn’t like she has some emotional investment in him, and you are just dating him on a whim. It sounds like maybe she has some issues with you from some other events (or guys) in your collective past? I don’t think you need to say no to this guy, but I do think you should talk to her and clear the air. She is obviously upset about something, and it would make things a lot easier if you talk this out before you go out with him.

There is a guy at work whom I have a huge crush on. He has a girlfriend, but I noticed him noticing me the other day, and I couldn’t help being excited. I smiled at him, and he offered me a piece of candy. He has barely ever talked to me before, but we see each other almost every day at work, so it’s not like he doesn’t know who I am. Now he says hi all the time and has started to make small talk. He is a lot older than I am, but not too old to consider dating material. I know it seems mean, but his girlfriend came in last week and she wasn’t very attractive and she was not being very nice to him. So, even though I would technically be tempting him to cheat, he is obviously not happy anyway, so can I hit on him now?

Candy Girl

I think you should keep your distance, CG. You have no idea what the circumstances of his relationship are or why his girlfriend was being “mean†to him. Maybe they were fighting. Maybe he was mean to her when you weren’t looking. Maybe he really is unhappy. Whatever the case is, you should not go after a guy who is taken, under any circumstances. If he really is relationship material, you need to let his other relationship dissolve naturally before you try starting one yourself. Otherwise, you’re just inviting drama and a bad end, and what’s the point of that? Besides, why would you even want to date a guy who is a cheater? What makes you think that he wouldn’t just turn around and cheat on you, too?

This girl who I am in class with is always picking on me. She laughs when she does it, and she always touches me and says she is sorry afterward, but she makes fun of everything I do. We have been in a few classes together in the last couple years. She always tries to get a seat near me, or waves me over to a seat that she has saved. She and I are not anywhere near the same social circle, and I don’t understand why she bothers. She has a nickname for me, and it drives me crazy, and I have asked her a bunch of times not to call me that, but she won’t stop. I have a really good friend who is a girl, and she says that this girl obviously likes me, but I’m not so sure. What should I do? Should I ask her out? Tell her to fuck off? I guess I kind of like her, even though I think she’s a freak. I don’t know. What do you think?

Not having ever seen the two of you together, and not being entirely certain of the situation, I am going to have to defer to your friend on this one. I think this girl likes you, or at least kind of likes you, and she is trying to figure out what you think of her. If you think you might want to date her, you should start by getting to know her a little better. Ask her about herself. What does she want? Where is she going? Who is she and what does she do when she isn’t in class? You will probably figure out what to do based on her answers. At the very least, you will see how much she intends to let you know her.