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Reality Check

My roommate is a really great guy, and we get along well. We often watch TV together, and I like him so much that I don’t mind how he sits in front of the screen. Unfortunately, he contributes nothing: no rent, no dish-washing, no nothing. He always makes a mess in the bathroom, never bathes and spends most of his time asleep. He’s also too stupid to open doors without help. I think he’s really cute and love it when he sleeps in my bed. What should I do? Sincerely,

Pablo’s Pal

Maybe you should talk to your friend with the loser boyfriend/roommate instead of writing fake letters to me. If you are concerned about this girl, and if she is so clueless that she lets this guy use her and live in her house and freeload, then don’t you think a real conversation is in order? Does he have some kind of power over her? Is it possible for you to just confront him? (Also, I am curious as to how the loser makes a mess in the bathroom if he’s not bothering to bathe? Is he too lazy to aim?) This is a crappy situation, PP, but it’s also kind of not your responsibility, you know? I think you should try to talk to her, but then you’re going to have to just back off and let her handle it, and pray she doesn’t get knocked up in the meantime.

OK, I’ll just say from the start that this may sound like someone complaining about being hungry when their mouth is full. But here it goes… I recently become reacquainted with a woman I knew several years ago. We were fairly good friends back then but not romantically involved with each other. So, here we are in the present—both married and divorced with kids. We are close in age and lead similar lifestyles. We started dating, and it was great. Never a shortage of things to talk about since we shared musical and other cultural interests. It is also great to be able to relate to the whole “divorced with kids” thing.

Then we started sleeping together. Believe it or not, that has become the problem. She is a great lover and I could easily fall for her on physical attraction alone. The problem is, since we became lovers she hasn’t wanted to do anything else. When we are together she wants to go straight to bed. We don’t really date anymore so much as we just have sex.

I have tried to politely let her know that I am interested in a relationship that is about more than sleeping together. I have suggested doing things to get us out of the house, and she shows little or no interest. Even going out for dinner is strained because it is obvious that she just wants to get to the bedroom. I really am into her and don’t want to lose her. But I want more than just sex from her. How should I approach her about this?

Perplexed in 5 Points

You should approach her fully clothed and in public, for starters, because it sounds like your voice will be quickly muffled otherwise. Then just tell her. Tell her what you told me. Tell her that you want to spend all kinds of time together–not just naked time. But you should be prepared for the fact that she may not find you as interesting on every level as you find her. You know, she may think you’re boring or have bad taste in music or she may hate that you chew with your mouth open, but that you’re really fun in the sack. Maybe she doesn’t have the time or the energy to deal with a real relationship, you know? She may just want to get down to business and then get home and do the laundry. This isn’t necessarily true, and it isn’t what you should settle for if it doesn’t work for you, PI5P. She might just be remarkably randy. But you will never know until you talk to her. Good luck.

The girl that I like is driving me crazy. I am so confused I don’t know what to do. We work together and we talk every day. Sometimes we have lunch together. She calls me and sends me text messages when I am not at work. But, she has a boyfriend that she lives with. They have been together for a few years, and she says she is pretty much over it. He is really nice, but the relationship has run its course. She has been telling me this for a couple of months. She didn’t want to break up with him before his birthday (in November) because she said it would be too mean. Then it was going to be Christmas. The problem is now he’s out of work and she doesn’t want to kick him out because she feels bad. So I’m waiting. And I feel like crap and I really want to date this girl. She came into work after New Year’s and I asked her how her New Year’s was. She said it was great. Said “we” had friends over and it was a really nice time. The “we” thing is starting to drive me nuts! I feel like a sucker, Jyl. What should I do?

Jealous Guy

Go rent When Harry Met Sally… Pay close attention to Carrie Fisher’s character Marie, before she meets Jess, played by Bruno Kirby. You are Marie, JG. And your lady friend is Marie’s boss. She’s never going to leave him, JG, and everybody knows it but you. That New Year’s party was the expensive nightgown of your movie, JG. Walk away. Find your Jess.

Confidential to Obviously Bored Guy: There is a forum for people like you. It’s called Penthouse Forum. Or you could try writing a blog of your very own. Perhaps you can call it “Middle Aged Guy Who Writes Fake ‘Erotic’ Letters”? Seriously, man. Get a life, or at least some writing skills. You’re boring.

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