May 9, 2018

Voters' Pancake Cheat Sheet

Pub Notes

Many readers have expressed disappointment that Pete’s Cheat Sheet will not be telling them how to vote this time. Pete has just not paid close enough attention to feel comfortable picking a candidate in some of the races.

Let us assume that most Flagpole readers who have looked to Pete for voting guidance are Democrats. Their problem is that local elections are nonpartisan, so they don’t have the party label to guide them. In previous years, Pete has done the heavy lifting, making it easy to radar through the non-partisan fog and zero in on the compatible votes.

With Pete on the sidelines, It is possible that the Athens-Clarke County Republican Party has provided a solution. Over the weekend, they released the results of the straw poll they took at Saturday’s pancake breakfast and candidate meet-and-greet.

The usual disclaimers must apply here. This is a totally unscientific sample and could be skewed even further by some unknown variables, such as a preference for sausage and pancakes among the most conservative of the Republicans.

Be all that as it may, local Democrats trying to decipher the candidate lineup might just want to vote the opposite of their Republican brethren and sistren, and our Trump-Pence friends have kindly laid out a possibly significant sample of their choices.

We will hurry over the partisan races on the assumption that local Democrats will not be voting in the Republican state primaries, nor did the Republicans mark their pancakes for any Democratic races. Suffice it to say that the straw pollers voted 82.5 percent in favor of Congressman Jody Hice, whose political genes are all regressive.

Now, let’s move on to the nonpartisan local races. For Superior Court Judge, the Republicans voted 95.7 percent for Regina Quick, 3.3 percent for Lisa Lott and .08 percent for Undecided. Quick used to be a Republican state representative, so one could intuit that this is a straight party line vote having nothing to do with judicial qualifications. If you’d rather have a qualified Democrat as judge, you can cast your lot with Lott.

Same with the other Superior Court Judge race. Eric Norris got 85.8 percent of the syrup-slurper vote as opposed to 7.9 percent for Allison Mauldin and 6.2 percent for Undecided. Is the pattern becoming clear?

Well, let’s move on to the Athens-Clarke County races. Remember, we’re in topsy-turvy land here; down is up, for those of you who want to vote progressive.

Why look here! For Mayor, the Republican pancake poppers prefer Harry Sims by 61.4 percent. Richie Knight is in second-place with 17.8 percent, and Undecided comes in third with a whopping 14.9 percent. Kelly Girtz is a distant fourth with only 5.9 percent. That makes a gigantic 94.1 percent Republican vote against Girtz and should tell you all you need to know, if you’re adopting this voting strategy.

For ACC Commission District 1, it’s Sharyn Dickerson by 48.3 percent, and Undecided in second with 29.9 percent, making a combined 78.2 percent to Patrick Davenport’s 21.8 percent.

In District 2, Taylor Pass and Undecided are in a dead heat with 45.1 percent each, while Mariah Parker barely scores with 9.8 percent. So, if you’re marking your ballot according to this system, you can very readily see that 90.2 percent of these Republicans do not want Parker as their next commissioner, so she must be doing something right.

In District 3, we have the same kind of pattern. The Republican breakfasters prefer Tony Eubanks by 43 percent and Undecided by 31.4 percent, for a combined total of 74.4 percent against Melissa Link’s 25.6 percent. Gee, wonder why they don’t like Link?

In District 5, Danielle Benson pulls 55.6 percent and Undecided 25.2 percent, for a combined total of 77.8 percent against Jared Bailey’s 13.1 percent and Tim Denson’s 6.1 percent, leaving it as kind of a toss-up for progressives trying to read these coffee grounds.

In District 7, Republicans prefer Carl Blount by 42.2 percent and their pal Undecided by 31.1 percent, for a combined 73.3 percent. What’s left goes to former Democratic Party chairman Bill Overend, with 18.9 percent, and Russell Edwards, who was an even more aggressive Democratic Party chairman and thorn in the Republicans’ side. Edwards’ reward is 7.8 percent.

In District 9, Undecided moves into first place with 51.8 percent of the vote. Tommy Valentine is second with 32.5 percent, making a combined 84.3 percent, while Ovita Thornton gets 15.7 percent.

In the Board of Education races, Undecided takes District 5 with 54.7 percent, while Kara Dyckman polls 37.2 percent and Imani Scott-Blackwell 8.1 percent. District 7 has Carol Williams grabbing 70.7 percent of the Republican vote, Undecided 21.2 percent and LaKeisha Gantt 8.1 percent.

Remember, folks, this is a totally unscientific poll, but it is awesome, because it was voted on by some really, really fine people, who know which side their pancakes are buttered on, unlike the sad, failing quitter who used to cook up that fake journalism called Pete’s Cheat Sheet.