THE CHOP HOUSE (2055 Oconee Connector, 706-395-7855): Picture yourself on hold for a long time, with Charter, say, or AT&T. You fancy yourself a slightly cool person, but as the Muzak plays a familiar tune, you find yourself absent-mindedly humming along, perhaps even enjoying it. This kind of thing is a metaphor for eating at The Chop House, a smallish steakhouse chain out of Knoxville with locations in Tennessee, Ohio and Georgia. And it also happens to play a very chill brand of Muzak in its dining room.
Occupying the former Bone Island Grill in the Epps Bridge Parkway area, it fits right in with the Home Depot, Walmart, Starbucks and all the other things you can find nearly anywhere in the country. The building was unexpectedly nice when it was built, and it’s still a bit swanky for the area, with a large fireplace, a lot of cushy seating and a large staff eager to take care of your every need. It opens promptly at 11 a.m. and closes at 10 p.m. (11 p.m. on Friday and Saturday). It has a full bar, and it takes reservations. The after-church crowd shows up steadily.
Order a salad and it will be a feast, served ice cold and pre-dressed from the refrigerator—an “Olive Garden salad,” as a friend of mine called it; not chef-driven but kind of good against one’s will. Even a side salad is pretty much big enough for a meal, especially considering that it likely includes bacon, cheese, tortilla strips, rice noodles and/or avocado. Six out of seven salads are not vegetarian, and the seventh can be made not vegetarian. That’s no surprise. It’s a steakhouse, and meat is the focus. There is a Beyond Burger available, and there are a few appetizers that don’t have meat in them. Vegans are probably out of luck.
The lunch menu is your best bet if you’re looking to save a little change, with a series of plates that are smaller versions of the main entrees and priced between $13–16. The petite pork chops are served with mashed potatoes and creamed spinach, both of which are fine but not great. Pounded thin and well salted, the pork chops may remind you of the kind of plate you could get at a legit Mexican grill, but that would have an egg on the side, perhaps some sausage, some grilled onions, rice, beans, salad and possibly a couple of other things. In other words, I’d rather pay a dollar or two more and get a more satisfying result. Maybe that choice was a mistake!
Go to the dinner menu, under Steaks & Chops, and get the lamb chops. Simply but well cooked (medium rare!), presented with a mint sauce on the side and a very loaded baked potato, plus one of those giant salads. It will run you $32–40, but the lamb chops feel more worth it than some of the less expensive items. The shrimp and crab cake combo, with a small tangle of fettuccine on the side, is also straightforward (little container of melted garlic butter for the shrimp, fancy tartar sauce for the crab cake) but well done. The sirloin isn’t anything special. The corn crème brûlée is technically a side and not a dessert, but it could be the latter. The menu is huge, as one would expect. The experience is entirely predictable, but that’s what you want out of this kind of thing, isn’t it?
The restaurant has ample parking.
THE LARK WINESPACE (493 Prince Ave., 706-850-5455): Occupying the former location of Avid Bookshop on Prince Avenue, this wine shop/wine bar from Krista Slater (of The Expat, among other projects in town) has fit smoothly and neatly into a community that can be prickly about new places replacing old places. It helps that it’s simple, without fussy attitudes about wine. The bottles on the shelves are priced at a wide variety of pain points, including not painful at all, with each price written directly on the bottle in white pen, making the system nice and clear. Sit at the cool marble bar or at a small table and order yourself a full glass of a variety of fun wines or opt for several 2 oz pours, priced to encourage sampling. The menu has about eight glasses on it, changing regularly and described at length, but with clarity and what are essentially hashtags. Need some food? There are a bunch of different snacks: almonds, French onion dip with kettle chips, olives, cheese, a lot of kinds of tinned fish, mackerel toast, truffles from Condor. It’s not really enough for a meal, but it’s enough to let you hang out and try a bunch of wines. You can buy most of the ingredients for the snacks to enjoy at home, too. It’s a bit shoppy shop, but it’s also cute, and the service is as smooth as can be, always present when needed but never intrusive. The Lark is open 12–8 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday and 2–7 p.m. Sunday and Monday.
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