Whether you have roommates, are paired up with a squeeze or reheating last night’s dinner at work, you’re likely sharing a kitchen. Kitchens can be gray areas for social acceptability. If you pee with the bathroom door open, roommates are either going to be OK with it or tell you to close the door. Use more spices than your roommates, and it’ll likely only come out in some awful group meeting where the fact you like spicy food is lobbed like an accusation. Here are some suggestions for making things easier:
Always wear pants: I lived with three guys my junior year of college. We usually took turns hosting a meal for the others. I served up crawfish etouffee, Randy sauteed bolognese, Mike ordered pizzas and Dan cooked Whatever Was in the Cabinet Casserole in his boxer shorts. I have never lost my appetite so fast as watching a nearly nude man lump pasta, peas and tuna fish together in a big bowl. We had to create a rule that year to get Dan to stop cooking in his boxers. Unless you’ve got explicit permission from your roommates (or they’re gone for the weekend), wear pants in the kitchen.
Respect others’ noses—to a point: I love sardines. I try only to eat them when I’m by myself or with another stinky fish lover. Another easy one, a boss man told me he hated the smell of popcorn. Simple—I didn’t eat popcorn at work anymore. Then, there’s the case of the Little Rock, AR, roommate who told me he didn’t like the smell of onions and garlic. Onions and garlic are in 90% of what I cook and are fairly universal flavors in many cuisines. Too bad for him. If you’re cooking, be aware that food smells linger, and try to eat smelly food when it will affect the fewest number of people. If you’re the one bothered by the smell, ask for consideration instead of an all-out ban.
When to spring into action: If you know how to cook, only save your roommates from real danger. Bolognese Randy decided to make french fries and started a grease fire in the apartment. I managed to bellow wordlessly as I knocked the pot of water out of his hand, grabbed a box of salt off the top of the fridge and flung it on the stovetop. (Side tip: Don’t throw water on a grease fire. Almost anything else is better.) We contained the fire with another bag of sugar and an extra large box of baking soda. Meanwhile, I left it alone when Casserole Dan wanted to cook a camping trip stew using a crockpot and bay leaves. The resulting stew swirled with two fistfuls of bay leaves that left the apartment and crockpot smelling like bay for days. The car trunk where the unsecured crock pot spilled on the way to the campsite likely still smells. Cooking is all about experimentation, and it’s not any fun to have a backseat chef in your ear. Take action during dangerous situations, and let the rest go.
Have a plan for cleaning up: I recommend staying away from the “everyone cleans up after themselves” mantra. It’s easy to say, but in a kitchen space there’s a lot of domestic work that happens beyond the physical cleaning of a dirty pot, plate and glass. Chef Joe was a breath of fresh air because he also wanted to remove the smoking oven charcoal remains of cheese-dripping frozen pizzas. Even dorm roommates might want to consider scheduling a mini-fridge and microwave cleanout more than once a semester.
Paying for staples: Constant betting makes sharing food more fun. Pizza Mike, Bolognese Randy, Casserole Dan and I each had cabinets for our individual food stores, but we shared some basics, especially milk. We plowed through milk by the gallons. Instead of getting mad about who was drinking all the milk, we started a ‘milk jar.’ We bet a dollar or two on games, trivia or what our other roommates were doing, with all the winnings going into the milk jar. Then, whenever we needed to buy more milk or coffee, the money came out of the milk jar. It stymied some of the predictable roommate arguments and made for a pretty great game. Sharing food with others can go sideways. Pick a strategy and then adjust as needed.
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