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Ted 2


When you go to the optometrist, you get asked repeatedly, “Which is better? One or two?” Hesitate in the slightest, and you get the third option: “Or are they about the same?” Well, which is better, Ted 1 or Ted 2? Or are they about the same? They are about the same. 

Seth MacFarlane’s brand of humor, honed on “Family Guy,” has never quite tickled my funny bone, but I enjoyed Ted. Mark Wahlberg is a stronger comic actor than he is often credited with being; MacFarlane’s talking teddy bear was charmingly boorish, and the Flash Gordon gags got me right in the genre heart. Comedy sequels, especially high-concept ones, are difficult to pull off. The list of misses (Caddyshack II, Look Who’s Talking Too, Teen Wolf Too, Arthur 2: On the Rocks, Another Stakeout, Weekend at Bernie’s 2 and many, many more) could pummel the handful of hits (Ghostbusters 2, Wayne’s World 2, Gremlins 2: The New Batch, Hot Shots: Part Deux, National Lampoon’s European Vacation). 

Ted 2 epitomizes the “if it ain’t broke” mantra; MacFarlane fixes nothing, despite some of the Ted shtick having lost its charm. Ted comes off as more loutish and John, minus Mila Kunis’ grounded girlfriend, more childish. And though Sam J. Jones returns, the sequel lacks a genre-replacement gag for the original’s Flash Gordon obsession, despite attempts to shoehorn in Worf from “Star Trek: The Next Generation.”

As far as sequel impetus goes, Ted 2’s is better than, say, Weekend at Bernie’s 2. After marrying fellow grocery-store employee Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth), Ted faces a legal struggle to avoid being declared property. Unfortunately, this main plot thread comes after the grimace-inducing, artificial-insemination narrative jumpstarter that involves the failed heist of Tom Brady’s sperm, as promised by the movie’s Super Bowl spot, and ends with Mark Wahlberg covered in semen. 

Fortunately, those gags are the troughs; Ted 2 peaks with some stellar comic ideas. Sure, MacFarlane trots out his usual, lazy humor of familiarity (recognize this reference? Then you’re in on the joke I didn’t actually tell.) and drug culture. The Jurassic Park weed spoof exemplifies the former, and Amanda Seyfried’s recent law graduate, who gets the thumbs up from Ted and John because she smokes pot, provides the impetus for much of the latter. In between, the one-time Oscar host hits upon some solid-gold gags, like yelling sad suggestions at local improv and a bit with Liam Neeson which easily bests his Entourage cameo. 

Anyone who enjoyed the first movie will expect some spotty comedic reception. MacFarlane can also err on the side of setup; a great punchline can take forever to deliver. Ted 2 is nowhere near as funny as the summer’s best R-rated comedy, Spy.

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