COLORBEARER OF ATHENS, GEORGIA LOCALLY OWNED SINCE 1987
September 9, 2015

It's OK that Little Kings is 25-and-Up

Hey, Bonita…

I'm really mad about Little Kings being 25-and-up on weekends now. There were a couple of fights, and now suddenly I'm banned from my favorite bar. I've been going there for years, but now they decide that anyone under 25 is too immature to come in, which is ridiculous. I know UGA students like to get wild, but I don't think it's fair to ban an entire group of people because of what one person did. IDIOTS.

Younger, Foxier and Freer Than You

toc-BonitaApplebum.jpg

It's funny, because with the way the word processor did the line breaks on your question, it looked to me like you signed your name as “IDIOTS.” And I thought that it was wholly appropriate. Why? Because you are too selfish to see the bigger picture here. This is not a needless ban on a benign group of people. This is a business trying to protect itself from an environment that was not forced upon it until the past three years or so.

Little Kings Shuffle Club has always been a townie bar with one old-school arcade game and no television, and I have no idea why students started invading it. It's like the lamest form of gentrification. As a regular patron in the past, I can say that lots of regulars were avoiding the place on weekends, and maybe the staff picked up on that. Personally, I'm glad there’s a space downtown for non-students who want company, calm and snooty IPAs on a Saturday night, rather than having to watch an adult woman take a poop on a bar patio. Downtown practically belongs to UGA, except for one block off of Pulaski. Let us have our space.


I'm a sophomore, and I really wanna meet a guy downtown, but it just hasn't happened yet! I put on my cutest clothes and go out, and sometimes I make out or whatever, but I haven't gotten a boyfriend. I don't know what's wrong! I'm smart and attractive, but I worry I'm not dressing right or putting out the proper “vibe.” Where should I go downtown? How do I meet a boyfriend at a bar?

Sarah

toc-BonitaApplebum.jpg

It's simple, Sarah! Go to a bar and ask if they're hiring. They'll notice that you're underage and tell you to get the hell out. Come back a year later and ask again. Perhaps they'll need a barback or a hostess. Hang out with your co-workers over shift beers and idle chit-chat. Make eyes at that cute co-worker who's also eyeing you. Let him take you out for dinner, and if he chooses a spot that's not a downtown student hole, kiss him, if you feel up to it. Tell him you like him and explain what you want from him, and listen to his response. If it's positive, agree to be a couple. There! You've made yourself a downtown boyfriend!

Sarah, you don't meet boyfriends in the ebb and flow of downtown drinking. Any man hitting on an underage girl to the sounds of Papa Roach while the game plays on six different flatscreen TVs is probably a douche or a date-rapist. You're gonna meet your boyfriend through friends, in class or at work—not at a bar.


My roommate has all these rules for our apartment, but he only tells them to me when I break one of them. He knows I want a therapy animal, but now he's saying we don't have space, and our apartment is two levels! Now he wants me to get all my stuff out of the living room because his girlfriend is visiting from overseas, and I've just about had it. I feel like I have no control in my home, and I'm starting to hate my roommate for it.

toc-BonitaApplebum.jpg

Are you both on the lease? Break it and move out. Are you the only one on the lease? Kick him out. Is he the leaseholder and you sublet a room from him? Move out. This miserable guy wants to live alone but can't afford to do so, so instead he's a nightmare roommate who is terrible at sharing. Move out.

Need advice? Email advice@flagpole.com, or use our anonymous form.

comments