Welcome to another week of happiness, brought to you courtesy of Threats & Promises. You know, you guys should save these columns every week and read them when you get lonely or cold. They're sure to warm your heart, and they make great kindling, too! See below for fire-building instructions.

No Sophomore Slump Here: Athens rock band Zumm Zumm has completed recording for its second full-length release. The album, entitled Gerald Bronson (which is the best album title since !!!'s Me And Giuliani Down By The Schoolyard) is sure to please fans and newcomers alike. Sonically, it's heads and tails above the band's debut Crusp Srextling, and the songwriting tends to be much more straightforward and focused. The absolutely, unbelievably rocking version of The Smiths' "Reel Around The Fountain" (with liberal lyrical embellishment by the band) surprises as much as it pleases. Anyone curious about the under-under-ground of Athens (at least among bands that actually leave the house) should snatch it up when it hits sores in the next couple of months.

Where House?: Now that the dust's settled and the shifting sands have quit shifting, Ed Magruder of Musician's Warehouse is having a grand-opening party for the new store out by the Georgia Square Mall (behind the RaceTrac gas station). Saturday, Oct. 18, is the date, and you'll find contests and giveaways galore, and from 2-8 p.m. There'll be live music provided by Kevn Kinney, Stewart & Winfield and a number of special guests. Free prizes handed out will include guitars and amps. The chance of winning free gear's nice and all, but the main reason to show up will be to support Magruder - he's been supporting Athens all along. [Chris Hassiotis]

Gimme Two Large Fries and A Gallon Of Gas: Local musician Dan Geller (I Am The World Trade Center, The Agenda, Kindercore Records) was featured in Atlanta's Creative Loafing last week for his research on "biodeisel." The fuel,

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which is an alternative to petroleum-based diesel fuel and can be manufactured by discarded cooking grease, was the subject of the cover story of the magazine and featured not only Geller, who holds his masters degree in biological engineering, but also Atlanta musician Rob Del Bueno who owns Zero Return Studios and is better known as Coco from Man... Or Astroman?. See folks. You don't have to be a dumbass to be a total rocker. Indeed, the world may be better if you're not.

You Can Go Home Again: The Michael Guthrie Band - whose members and others packed out Tasty World recently with their George Harrison tribute show "George" headed to Liverpool, England this past week, where they once again played at the legendary Cavern Club. The Cavern is as critical a part in the history of rock and roll as Sun Studios, The Apollo Theater and "American Bandstand." Known mainly for being the place that the Beatles rocked on a regular basis, the club hosted the International Pop Overthrow Festival on October 14. The Michael Guthrie Band last played the Cavern Club in 1996, and that set is preserved on their Live At The Cavern album.

Local Artists Pay Tribute: Athens musicians Tony Paglia from The Orchid Pool and Kimberly Paglia from Bellhouse were recently asked to contribute music to the new permanent exhibit honoring outsider/folk artist DeVon Smith. Smith, who lived in rural western Pennsylvania, passed away in May of this year. The exhibit has already opened at the American Visionary Art Museum in Baltimore, MD. The Paglias were both well-acquainted with Smith, befriending him over the past several years. The Orchid Pool's song "Lullaby For DeVon Smith" was released last year on Florida label Happy, Happy Birthday To Me. For more information on The Orchid Pool, Bellhouse or DeVon Smith please visit www.theorchidpool.com or www.bellhouse.com.

I Can't Pronounce It, But I Like It: Athens band The Chasers have been invited to play the Atlantacanarama (as in Atlanta-Americana-Rama) to be held at Atlanta's The EARL on Saturday, Oct. 25. The festival, inspired both by the former Bubbapalooza Festival and St. Louis, MO's Twangfest, will also feature The Cigar Store Indians, Sonoramic Commandos, Amy Pike & Highwater and The Blue Jays. This looks to be a great time, folks, and since The Chasers are the only non-Atlanta act to be included on the bill, it might be mighty fittin' for y'all to make the drive. For more information, check out the gorgeous www.atlantacanarama.com.

12 Steps To The Stars: Athens/Atlanta band The Shut Ups will be presenting their symposium 12 Steps To Rock Stardom on Thursday, Oct. 16, over at Tasty World. Symposium and Shut Ups leader Don Condescending has a plan for you, your band and even your friends with this one. He will assist the crowd in writing their own three-minute pop songs, hold a pop quiz and demonstrate how to pit Athens against Atlanta, musically speaking. According to Condescending, "Year after year, Athens continues to produce more talented musicians than perhaps any other town on the planet. But this shining city has not vaulted an act to superstardom in well over a decade. What was once (and only once) a pathway to success has long since become a highway to hell...Those who do not attend will be treated as though they have committed artistic suicide, and their memories will be wiped from the history of rock and roll forever." I think he means it, folks. Also on hand that night to assist your personal growth will be Mad Happy and Twilight Children.

Local Classical Busts Out National: University of Georgia freshman and Oconee County resident Ben Jackson has the distinct honor of being featured on National Public Radio. Classical clarinetist Johnson is studying under professor Ray McClellan and will have his performance of "Tartini Concertino Movement No. 4" broadcast on the NPR program From The Top. The piece was taped before a live audience in Brevard, NC back in June of this year. From The Top features performances and interviews with up and coming classical musicians of note and Jackson is thrilled to be included. Locals can hear the program broadcast at 11 a.m. on Tuesday, Oct. 21, on local NPR affiliate WUGA 91.7 FM.

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Final Notes: Athens bands Guff, This Scares Me and Carrie Nations all received positive reviews in the most recent issue of Chicago mag Punk Planet; Atlanta's Two Sheds Music recently dropped two new 7" records by Athens bands. First up is Heros Severum with their versions of Patti Smiths "Rock And Roll Nigger" and Missy Elliott's "Get Ur Freak On." Next up is Jet By Day splitting their time with DC/Baltimore rockers The Maginot Line; Dodd Ferrelle & The Tinfoil Stars recently played live on the Fox Channel 5 program Good Day Atlanta and the program featured a full band performance and interview.

Breast is Best: The organizers of BreastFest are looking for songs for their 2003-2004 compliation CD. Contact Billy, 316-3112.

And that's it for this week, folks. Enough to keep warm with? I sure hope so. If not, just wait until next week when more of this stuff comes around. As always, send all your news to me with either me or Threats & promises in the subject line of email correspondence. Help me lose my religion via email to music@flagpole.com, voicemail at 549-2360; via fax at 548-8981; or by post at P.O. Box 1027, Athens, GA 30603.

Gordon Lamb