WHY BUSH
Dear Mr. McCommons, I am told that some time ago you challenged your readership to explain what on earth they see in George Dubya Bush and offered space in The Flagpole for any rational explanation of what makes him worthy of consuming even a teeny weeny bit of the earth's oxygen. I'm sorry I haven't written sooner, but my time is not my own; you know how that can be. So here goes:
Every day that Bush is in office and his cohorts are in power brings us one day closer to the total collapse of a political and economic system which makes this world almost unlivable for anyone possessed with a glimmer of sanity or an ounce of compassion. It's as simple as that. Go back, re-read that last sentence, and then try to refute it. You can't, can you?
You see, when the Naderites said in 2000 (some of my best friends were among this tribe) that there wasn't a dime's worth of difference between Bush and Gore, I knew better. I knew that anyone with the moral and linguistic deficiencies of Bush would be likely to make at least a minor mess of things. So I cast my vote for Bush.
And now, four years later, you talk about a mess? No, not minor, but big, BIG time, in my view. I won't bore you and your readers nor tax my fragile psyche with a recitation of the state of the world. Read a paper, tune in to a headline news show, or just look around.
Now, can you imagine what an apocalyptic mess this Bush and his cronies can perpetrate in four more years? Four more wars? No, I fancy it'll be even better than that. Awesome! Totally cool! I can't wait!
So you see, sir, there is indeed something positive that can be said about President George W. Bush. Your rhetorical challenge has been met.
See you at the polls
Lou de Wissey
Email

CALLING NAMES
Of the things in my section [Ort's band names 3/31], I can only take credit for Rabid Stamps and maybe Albino Binoculars. Certainly, Ort must have extrapolated upon Sr. Baleia's Chubby Poodle!
Ones that I would have taken credit for, had you printed them, include: Grandfather's Medicine Chest - Pipe Bumps - Bourbon Renewal - Aid Romantic Hobo/Aid Romantic Rock - Os Trombinhos - Chilltown - Iranian Firedogs - The Herbert Magilla Taxi Service.
Some from my friend Charles: Litterbasket Thieves - Outermost Moons - Manny & The Mazel Tovs.
More of mine: Freeze My Teeth - Girls Walking In Step - Gury T. Syndrome - Reverend Bathtowel - The Hurricane We Buried Tim In - McAllister Highchair - Sacred Organics - O Golpeiro - Food Made From The Breath Of Trees - Nigerian Goat Pit. Two that I thought up yesterday are: The Cliquehuis Three and The Diaspora Dip.
D.J. Hack
Brazil

ORT & CREEKS
Loved the mega-dose of Ort for April 1. Also, I appreciate the article on the Creeks last week. We need more of our history in print.
Can I still get a hard copy of recent issues?
Brent A. Tozzer
Email

CAR WARS
To the citizens of Athens: On Friday, Feb. 27, I was almost hit by a late-'90s Chevy Tahoe (black) as I attempted to cross Broad Street at the termination of College Avenue in front of the Arch. I failed to get the license plate number. The walk signal was clearly displayed (it had 25 seconds on it); I walked into the crosswalk and barely noticed the Tahoe speeding towards the light and making the turn; I jumped backwards and was missed by about five or six inches. The driver was either careless or indifferent to my presence or accelerating at a rate which made yielding inconvenient to her; any of these conditions would have earned her a reckless driving citation by Georgia state law, and since her willful neglect almost cost me my life, her actions can be considered an unsuccessful attempt at vehicular manslaughter.
Today, April 23, a similar incident occurred. At approximately 10 a.m., I was riding my bicycle downhill behind the Bottleworks when a man in a champagne-colored heavy truck (at least an F250) failed to look left AND right before turning into the Bottleworks parking lot. Through some miracle of the gods, I skidded out around the truck rather than into it. In my agitation and panic, I failed to get the license plate number - again. The indignant driver of this vehicle spent some time yelling at me; when I reminded him that his vehicle may very well have ended my life, he explained that he didn't see me.
Not seeing a pedestrian seems to be a real problem here in Athens, especially in broad daylight - just ask Professor Farley Richmond, struck by an undergraduate's Jeep Cherokee on Thursday, April 22. His assailant, William Streiber, didn't see him either - and his vehicle threw Farley 30 feet across Lumpkin St. as a result.
What exactly does one have to do to be seen by such careless motorists? My life has been threatened too many times for me to ignore the fact that the motorists of Athens are willing to kill me in order to save time, to go fast or to receive whatever other gain they produce from driving with a blind eye.
That being the case, I officially declare war on such motorists. A car is a weapon which can kill with very little effort; when motorists use that weapon without any respect for the law, for their own safety, or for the safety of others, and when that flagrant and deliberate disrespect for life results from such an obvious imbalance of power, then it is my right and duty as a citizen to protect myself from this harm by whatever means necessary.
Rather than appealing to motorists to change their behavior or appealing to the city government to protect its citizens (an appeal which all precedent has proven in vain), I urge all pedestrians and cyclists in Athens to educate themselves about traffic laws and traffic safety, and furthermore to arm and defend themselves lawfully against a negligent populace whose willful disavowal of safety and outright hostility and aggression have endangered lives. Write down license plate numbers immediately, report all incidents thoroughly, and remember that any aggressive behavior on the part of motorists can and should be interpreted as a threat to your life - and that you have the right to defend yourself accordingly.
You have been warned.
Martin Rogers
Athens