Us Against Us: The culture wars came to roost in our "oasis" last week, and they may stick around for a while. Amid the shock and awe that registered with our university-dependent populace at the news of the pending evisceration of higher education in Georgia, it was easy to forget that the banners reading "Massive Job Losses," "Popular Programs Eliminated" and "Tenure in Jeopardy" had been raised on our side. But if the appropriately frightening document entitled "Impact of $300M additional cuts," released by the Board of Regents last week to paint a stark picture of what the cuts demanded by state legislators might look like, was intended to shame the pols into reconsidering their methods for dealing with their billion-dollar-plus budget shortfall (no doubt an effect of the "Obama Recession"—so named by right-wing haters before the prez even sat down in the Oval Office), then its success was decidedly mixed.

When mouthpieces for the Georgia Republican delegation—the gang of know-nothing white dudes holing up in Atlanta and holding all the cards—derided the cuts proposed by the University System as "scare tactics," they were talking about the potential loss of 4H Clubs, County Extension Offices, and other programs on the "something-from-everyone" hit list that are highly valued by the reactionary jes' folks who are the only constituents they think they have to answer to. But make no mistake: in a state that went 60 percent for a ticket that featured Sarah Palin in 2008 and has gotten more blindly conservative since, it's pretty safe to characterize stuff like university presses, competitive salaries for top professors and even higher education itself as belonging to the province of fluttering, sniffy "elites." Unfortunately for us—including the 25 percent of UGA custodial staff who stand to lose their jobs—that province also goes by the name of "Athens," and unless the people in this state who would be affected by the collapse of its public education system (that is, all of them) wake up to that reality and start yelling about it to their elected representatives—or voting them out—things are going to start looking pretty different around here.

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Wait, There's Other News?: In other news, buried at the tail end, as it were, of the ACC mayor and commission's feral cat-dominated Mar. 2 voting session was a request from Mayor Heidi Davison that county staff look into the possibility of installing parking meters on Hickory Street, the currently yellow-curbed road on the eastern edge of downtown that connects Broad to Willow by way of the Multimodal Transportation Center. While the mayor tells the Dope that her main interest in such a plan would be to help set the table for future expansion of commercial downtown to the river, she concedes that one significant short-term effect it might have would be to address the still-unresolved parking situation at Jittery Joe's Tasting Room, located directly across East Broad from Hickory. Stay tuned!

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On the Water: Registration has begun for the Georgia River Network's 82-mile Paddle Georgia 2010, a week-long canoe and kayak trip on the Broad and Savannah Rivers for a hefty flock of paddlers who will shove off June 19 near Franklin Springs and stay wet until June 25 when they come to port in Augusta. Okay, nighttime accommodations on dry land will be provided, but you get the picture. It's a fun and healthy midsummer adventure, and a great way to raise funds for river protection in Georgia. Go to www.garivers.org for more info.

Speaking of rivers, state water advocates last week were looking towards a House bill that should have been dropped in the legislative hopper Monday, Mar. 8 (smack in the middle of the old weekly-paper lag between press time and street date), which would seek to establish criteria for interbasin water transfers while setting guidelines for more open public notification of said IBTs. It's a bi-partisan bill with dozens of sponsors from across the state, including our Representative Doug McKillip. Here's a hunch: up-to-date info is likely to be available at erstwhile Dope Ben Emanuel's blog, www.gawaterwire.com.

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Giving Is Good: The 12th Annual Empty Bowl Luncheon and Silent Auction to benefit the Food Bank of Northeast Georgia is Mar. 17 at the Classic Center. Tickets are $20 and include soup and a sandwich—plus, you get a free bowl! Get more info at www.foodbanknega.org. The following week, All God's Children will host its Third Annual Auction for Adoption Mar. 26 at Buffalo's Southwest Cafe. All God's Children is an Oconee County adoption agency that helps "hard to place" children find permanent homes. Tickets are $20; call All God's Children at (706) 316-2421 for more info.

Dave Marr

news@flagpole.com