Thinking of Sue Roalman

originally published September 19, 2007

(This week’s Pub Notes is written by Molly Swan in tribute to her friend Suzann Roalman. Sue, who is well known in Athens, is battling cancer at her North Carolina mountain retreat. Below Molly’s column, you’ll find comments by several other of Sue’s friends.)

I moved to Oglethorpe County in 1980. Knowing no one, except my brother, I put an ad in the paper (would that have been the Observer back then?) offering a class in Healing with Flower Essences. Sue showed up, and since then has enlivened a vibrant slice of the total pie of life as I know it. We decided to do a special celebration of the winter equinox that year. A group of us, all women from that first flower essence workshop, gathered at a bonfire. Sue had suggested that we create little sculptures out of sticks and yarn and stuff to represent things that we were letting go of, and that we throw them in the fire as a way to clear out the old and make fresh space for new beginnings. As I recall, no one else made a sculpture, but Sue did and threw it into the flames. This all occurred on my brother Paul’s farm in Oglethorpe County. We women had our celebration and then moved on to new things. Later, my brother, the farmer, and one of his cronies came upon our fire pit out on the edge of a far field. They stirred the coals and found bits of feathers and sticks from Sue’s sculpture. “Oh look,” said one, “they burned a poor little bird.” From then on my brother named our women’s group “The Root Priestesses.”

In later years, I have enjoyed the fresh-baked goods, pieces of soap and jars of salve Sue always presses on me every time I visit her. And even more treasured have been the moments spent sipping tea together in her kitchen, surrounded by sprigs of plants rooting in jars and knitting projects for a never-ending succession of new acquaintances. Sue is a true Earth Mother, a lover of plants, animals, home, neighbors and community who relishes sharing the familiar little comforts of life. Sue cares deeply about things, and feels deeply, too. When something doesn’t feel right to her, she takes action to fix the problem. Anyone who has been close to her knows the intensity of the fire of her righteous indignation. It’s easy to take offense when faced with such forceful intention to change our dysfunctional ways. But for those who are willing to let our egos dissolve a bit more in her purifying flame, she gives a great opportunity to see the things we could change for the better. And although her vision is sometimes distorted by the strength of her emotions, there is always opportunity to hone ourselves more true from these encounters. And when the storm has passed, even blatant recalcitrants such as myself know that her lovely smile, rising out of her deep true love, will always return to warm us.

Sue has always been very vocal in online listservs and letters to the editor in the Flagpole. When Sue takes on a cause, whether it be promoting a therapeutic workshop or editing the Daily Groceries newsletter, the rest of us within reach know that she will relentlessly remind us of that project. Her perseverance is of the highest sort.

Due to her gregarious and highly energetic nature, she has probably given massages to more people in town than most of the rest of us massage therapists put together, and once quipped, “My prices are ridiculously low.” But in line with her appreciation for simple homey things, she kept the price low until she retired this year.

Now she has chosen to take leave of her Athens community and embrace the beauty and peace of her mountain home in Brevard, NC. She reports being in bliss in her new digs, with yarrow blooming and comfrey to be picked. She wants to create healing salves with the bounty of the mountain plants and establish her home there as a healing center. Although it is hard for her to breathe and walk, and she relies heavily on her son Woody to get through the day, with her usual enthusiasm she invites everyone to visit her there, as does Woody. They request that we write first. (Sue’s email is hands4peace05@gmail.com.)

As always, connection with the people of her community is Sue Roalman’s greatest joy. Love is a net. I’m imagining her in the center of that net, with everyone who cares holding a piece of the circle, and her feeling love from all directions forever and always.

Molly Swan

A Friend In Need

I can’t remember exactly when or where I first met Sue, but it was in 1985 at a potluck either put together by the old Athens food co-op or a potluck organized around home birth (the same group of people were at all of those potlucks: Ha!). I met Sue and enjoyed a conversation with her. Her son and my middle son were born just days apart, so we had much to talk about. In the spring of 1986, I ran into Sue downtown; we recognized each other and stopped to talk.

I told her my latest news, that my father had been diagnosed with cancer, had had a spinal cord compression from it and was recovering from three surgeries and a 40-day hospital stay, at my home. Immediately Sue told me she would like to come out to my home (in Madison County) and give my father massages to help him heal, as he hopefully would begin to walk again. Although we hardly knew each other then, Sue came out weekly for several months, donating her time and skills to help my father - a priceless gift to him and to me. During this time our friendship was forged.

To this day, I am full of gratitude to Sue for the way she saw the need. She recognized a way she could help, and she began  her generous plan. Sue has taught me much by her actions. What a gift!

Beth Zorbanos

Sooo Tasty

I remember Sue with Woody as a baby. She was crazy about him and a great mother, operating on a probably limited income. They were a really visible part of Pulaski Heights, with her walking him, teaching him things, having him out and around in the neighborhood. A lot of us over here have known Woody since he was a newborn and she was raising him by herself, and here he is a wonderful young man helping his mother.

I almost forgot about those wonderful soaps she makes. I’ve got some right now and have given them for Christmas presents. I also have two (getting huge) gardenias in the front yard, right by the steps. I never see them bloom that I don’t think of Sue. And she is a fabulous spur-of-the-moment vegetarian cook. She can fix you the simplest meal and it is sooo tasty. When she was at Forest Heights, I’d occasionally stop by after yoga at the Y. She is also the first one to lend a hand if you feel bad. In the neighborhood she stood her ground in the battle of developers. I wish she’d get her butt back down to Athens so we could look after her.

Chatham Murray

A Love Of Plants

My friendship with Sue was fostered by, among other things, a mutual love of plants: growing them, propagating them and using them as food and medicine. She has an amazing gift for plant propagation. It was common for me to find by my back door rooted cuttings of gardenias, a plant that will forever remind me of Sue. I have several planted in my courtyard, and they flourish. I see these plants, and I think of Sue.

One of Sue’s most wonderful characteristics is her generosity of spirit. She is always thinking of others and giving to others; plants, homemade, sweet-smelling soaps and other random, thoughtful gifts always end up at my door. She provides me with an example of how to continually strive to become a better person. Professionally, Sue has excelled at massage therapy. She is my massage therapist, and her massages are simply the best.

Sue is a mover, a shaker, a writer, networker, teacher and a strong, wise woman. I miss Sue’s presence in Athens terribly, but I envision her at peace, enfolded by the healing, verdant mountains of Brevard, NC.

Martha Allen