Rocking in the Name of Lame

Rock and Roll Dating for Dummies

originally published October 1, 2008

Earlier this year a new dating website went live on the Internet offering a free forum for fans of rock music to gather (figuratively) and select potential mates based on musical compatibility. If you’re anything like me, upon hearing this news you breathed a sarcastic sigh of relief. Finally, a website justifying some peoples’ tendencies to take their own musical tastes far too seriously. The site, proclaiming to rock “in the name of love,” is located at RockNRollDating.com (RNRD), and gives its users a chance to create online profiles that fully describe their musical interests, including - among other things - their favorite bands, lyrics and concert experiences.

The concept of meeting people online is nothing new. Probably very soon after two computers forged the first electronic connection, the users of those computers gave the word “cyber” its alternate, dirtier meaning. Within a couple of years of that special moment, web-savvy entrepreneurs began developing entire sites devoted to online dating. Over the years, these sites have lost much of the stigma that initially attached to those who frequented them. According to Online Dating Magazine (yes, apparently there is even a magazine dedicated to online dating), more than 20 million people visit at least one online dating website per month.

General interest dating sites like Match.com and eHarmony.com have flourished in this multi-million-dollar-a-year market by providing sleek interfaces and the promise of real (sort of) interactions with hundreds of singles, none of whom (I’m sure) are the least bit creepy or desperate. Indeed, the online dating industry is so robust that even smaller sites tailoring to niche interests also have found success. For example, JDate.com successfully caters to Jewish people (and, I suppose, Jewish enthusiasts), and, infamously, H-Date.com successfully caters to people with herpes (and, I suppose, herpes enthusiasts).

RNRD operates under the same premise as do the above two niche dating sites, i.e., that there is a healthy contingent of people who want to date other people with interests similar to theirs. As RNRD asks on its site, “Ever gone out with someone only to find that their tastes in music are so far off the mark that you couldn’t imagine being in a long-term relationship with them?”

Well, actually I have. There was that one time I didn’t call a woman back after I discovered that she only listened to musical theater. In my experience, people who listen to musical theater mimic their idols by flamboyantly bursting into song. Additionally, one of my friends once broke off a relationship with a guy after she found a Nickelback CD in his car. I approved of the breakup. As a general rule, I don’t listen to bands whose lead singers resemble the cowardly lion, and whose music is about as riveting as a grade school research paper.

So, in that respect, RNRD’s premise, in theory, is a plausible one. Musical taste often is a proxy for certain personalities, and undoubtedly our tastes define us. Although Paula Abdul and MC Skat Cat subscribe to the theory that opposites attract, it probably is true that at least some similarity - and, specifically the right kind of similarity - is necessary in a human relationship. Why not use musical tastes as a way to effectively screen potential mates? Sure, no one should solely rely on those criteria, and bad musical taste often can be overcome by the presence of other privileged qualities, but determining someone’s musical tastes can go a long way in helping you decide whether or not you want to let them consistently see you naked.

So, after some prodding by my editor at Flagpole, I joined RNRD to see what it was all about.

Creating an online profile on RNRD was easy and - as the site advertises - free. For my headline, I chose the lyric: “I’m just looking for some tush,” which, besides being a reference to a song by ZZ Top, is definitely an appropriate sentiment to express on a dating site. Next I selected from a litany of musical genres the ones that most nearly described my own musical tastes. After much internal debate, I selected three: Rock & Roll, Classic Rock and (somewhat uncomfortably) Indie Rock. Other required information included not only the usual suspects of body type, religion, education, etc., but also first concert, best concert, and “dealbreakers” (by which I assume the website meant bands like - in my case - Nickelback).

However, as I was busy plumbing the depths of my musical soul, it occurred to me: what musical bait you put on the hook determines what kind of woman you reel in. Although I suppose there is a time and place for hooking up with 40-year-old biker chicks, I’m not sure I’d want one of them contacting me online based on my affinity for the dulcet tones of Michael McDonald, or more appropriately, Motörhead. Further, if I searched for a potential mate on RNRD, would I want to find someone whose musical tastes matched mine exactly? Although similarities are good, some difference definitely keeps things interesting (maybe MC Skat Cat was right after all!). Even though I don’t personally like Belle & Sebastian, maybe my ideal girlfriend does. And maybe she’s on RNRD somewhere, waiting for me to message her… that is, if RNRD has any members at all.

Because the site is relatively new, there are very few members, and certainly none that matched my search criteria. But then again, I’m probably one of those people who take their own musical tastes far too seriously. So, with some finality, I deleted my profile after only a few short hours of glory. Although dating sites like RNRD definitely serve a very specific and even needed purpose, I think in the end I’ll stick to the method most people of my generation employ to meet people: Facebook stalking.

John Seay