originally published April 2, 2008

10,000 B.C.

(PG-13) 10,000 B.C. isn’t epic enough to overcome its grievous historical inaccuracies. The greatest flaw of 10,000 B.C. may be in its geography. I could suspend my disbelief to allow for the general abuse of time, but the lack of any geographical cohesion troubled me to no end. Without an engaging story or characters to cling to, 10,000 B.C. left me with far too much time to struggle to make a whole out of the ill-fitting pieces of this shattered lost world. (Beechwood, Carmike)

21

(PG-13) See Movie Pick and Flick Skinny. (Beechwood, Carmike)

THE 39 STEPS

(NR) 1935. One of Alfred Hitchcock’s pre-Hollywood classics, The 39 Steps features Hitch’s signature "wrong man" plot as Canadian visitor Richard Hannay (Robert Donat) becomes the target of a spy ring after Miss Annabella Smith (Lucie Mannheim) is murdered in his flat. Hannay is forced to go on the lam in order to break the spy ring and prove his innocence. Presented by the Special Needs Library, this screening of features a non-intrusive narration track for visually-impaired viewers. Shows Thursday, 4/3 (ACC Library)

THE BAND'S VISIT

(PG-13) After snagging eight Awards of the Israeli Film Academy (including Best Film, Best Director, Best Actress, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, and Best Screenplay), writer/director Eran Kolirin’s film went global, picking up worldwide prizes from Cannes, the Montreal Festival of New Cinema, and the Zurich Film Festival. I’ve been waiting to see this touching comedy about an Egyptian police band that gets lost on their way to the opening of an Arab arts center in Israel since I first saw the trailer months ago. The Band’s Visit is my Must See Flick of the Week. Starts Friday (Ciné)

THE BRIDGE

(NR) Kick-off event for the 3rd annual Depression and Suicide Awareness Week, and benefit for Nuçi's Space. Documentary of "the alluring beauty of the Golden Gate Bridge and the individuals who are drawn there as a means to end their pain." Inspired by Eric Steel's "Jumpers," an article that appeared in The New Yorker. Panel discussion follows 7 p.m. screening. Shows Wednesday, 4/2 (Ciné)

CARAMEL

(PG) I always wondered what Beauty Shop sounded like in Arabic; Lebanon’s official submission for the Best Foreign Language Film Oscar (it didn’t make the final five) might just teach me. Writer/director/star Nadine Labaki’s debut is a romcom set in Beirut that centers on the daily lives of five women (Labaki, Yasmine Elmasri, Joanna Moukarzel, Gisèle Aouad and Sihame Haddad) who frequent the same beauty shop where the titular sweet is a key ingredient in a waxing procedure. Starts Friday (Ciné)

COLLEGE ROAD TRIP

(G) Martin Lawrence returns to the big screen for the second time in a month. Lawrence is Chief James Porter, the overprotective policeman father who decides to accompany - and mortify - his daughter, high school senior Rachel (Raven-Symoné), on a cross-country trip to pick a college. (Beechwood, Carmike)

CONTRAPLANO IBEROAMERICAN SHORT FILM FESTIVAL

(NR) comes to UGA from Segovia, Spain. Films scheduled are Changes, Hasta los Huesos, La Guerra, Sirenas sin fondo and many more. Sponsored by the Department of Romance Languages, the Latin American and Caribbean Studies Institute, Dr. John Ross, Cachivache, Cali´n´Titos, Little Kings and Espresso Royale. Full schedule at www.rom.uga.edu/contraplanoUGA/filmfest. Shows Wednesday, 4/2 (SLC)

DOOMSDAY

(R) Conjured with uncompromising vision by British writer-director Neil Marshall (Dog Soldiers and The Descent), Doomsday will appeal to cult film devotees over casual filmgoers, but those like yours truly will fall dizzily head over hills in mad love with this action/ horror/ sci-fi mash note to John Carpenter. In the year 2035, Scotland has been walled off from England for 30 years, after the initial outbreak of a deadly virus. When London becomes the newest hot zone, the shady government sends in Major Eden Sinclair (Rhona Mitra) to find out if the survivors have a cure. Doomsday doesn’t disappoint the genre faithful constantly seeking new cult films to canonize. Ends Thursday (Carmike)

A DREAM IN DOUBT

(NR) 2007. After his brother becomes the victim of one of America’s first post-9/11 hate crime murders, Rana Singh Sodhi makes it his mission to reclaim his personal American dream in the face of the prejudice threatening his community. A Dream in Doubt continues the ITVS (The Independent Television Service) series of award-winning documentaries and dramas on public television, innovative new media projects on the Web, and the Emmy Award-winning weekly series “Independent Lens” on PBS. Part of the ACC Library’s iFilms series. Shows Thursday, 4/3 (ACC Library)

DRILLBIT TAYLOR

(PG-13) The latest Judd Apatow production may lack the raunch of its older siblings, Knocked Up and Superbad, but the flick still packs its share of juvenile laughs. Three newly minted high schoolers - Wade (Nate Hartley), Ryan (Troy Gentile), and Emmit (David Dorfman) - watch their short lives flash before their eyes while being terrorized by evil bully, Filkins (Alex Frost), and his sidekick, Ronnie (Josh Peck). The script by Seth Rogen and Kristofor Brown lacks the realistic teenaged naughtiness of Superbad (the tame gags are very family friendly). Go into Drillbit Taylor realizing that it’s Superbad for the preteens whose parents wouldn’t let them see Superbad (and probably won’t let them see this movie due to its kinship with last year’s surprise smash hit), and one shouldn’t be disappointed. (Beechwood, Carmike)

THE EYE

(PG-13) I know I enjoyed the 2002 Hong Kong chiller from The Pang Brothers (The Messengers) on which this Jessica Alba vehicle was based, but I couldn’t remember why as I watched the remake. It’s not that the horror film about a young violinist (Alba) who begins seeing dead people after a cornea transplant is that awful. The flick from directors David Moreau and Xavier Palud and Gothika scribe Sebastian Gutierrez isn’t bad, but it is boring. (Georgia Square 5)

HORTON HEARS A WHO!

(G) The 1954 children’s classic about Horton the Elephant (v. Jim Carrey), whose giant ears allow him to communicate with the tiny speck that is the town of Whoville is one of the good doctor’s most beloved tales, right behind Green Eggs and Ham. The laughs in Horton are never cheap or juvenile (a plus for the adult Seuss lovers in the crowd), yet they are perfectly pitched for little ones’ ears. (Beechwood, Carmike)

I AM LEGEND

(PG-13) I Am Legend is another addition to one of my all-time favorite movie sub-genres: the post-apocalyptic survival story. Will Smith plays Robert Neville, a military scientist haunted by his past and his failure to stop a mutating virus. The story was adapted from a 1954 novel by Richard Matheson which has already been turned into two movies. This adaptation wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t very good, either. [Alex Moore] (Georgia Square 5)

IN BRUGES

(R) In Bruges, two hitmen, Ray (Colin Farrell) and Ken (Brendan Gleeson), are supposed to sit tight, take in the sights of this fairy-tale burg, drink a couple of pints down at the local pub, and await word from their mean, cursing boss, Harry (Ralph Fiennes). In this gleeful comedy, the blackest I’ve seen in some time, writer/director Martin McDonagh does right by the British brand of comic crime drama, while making good on the promise he showed with his Oscar winning short film, Six Shooter. McDonagh’s world is populated by murderous, racist, homophobic thugs, and yet it’s a charming place to spend a couple of hours. While In Bruges can be a bit indulgent - trading winks with the audience like any post-Pulp Fiction crimedy - the film brilliantly weaves together its quirky unloveables, its quaint locale, and its graphic violence into a rather tidy little rug that covers up most of the bare patches in the plot carpeting. In Bruges is no Pulp Fiction, but the film is as entertaining a bloody relative as any I’ve met since the late '90s. (Carmike) Ends Thursday (Beechwood)

JUMPER

(PG-13) The good aspects of Jumper are few and include Hayden Christensen’s hotness (or so I’ve been told) and a neat idea about teleportation powers. The rest of the movie was pure two-dimensional fluff. [Alex Moore] (Georgia Square 5)

JUNO

(PG-13) A frank, funny discussion of family, teenage sexuality and parenting without a hint of the cool irony that typically detaches independent comedies, Juno lives up to all its hype. Ends Thursday (Ciné)

LEATHERHEADS

(PG-13) George Clooney hops back in the director’s chair for a screwball comedy set against the backdrop of professional football circa 1925. Clooney stars as Dodge Connolly, an aging legend who drafts up-and-coming college star and WWI hero Carter Rutherford (John Krasinski from “The Office”) to save his sinking franchise. Off the field, Dodge and Carter are duking it out for the heart of a pesky female reporter, Lexie Littleton (Renée Zellweger). Leatherheads looks and sounds like a charmer. Opens Friday (Beechwood, Carmike)

MAD MONEY

(PG-13) Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah and Katie Holmes rob the Federal Reserve. The leads are game, and interweaving a heist movie with themes of female empowerment gone awry, and the corporate downsizing of white upper-middle class America is intriguing. Too bad the direction stinks. Shows Friday, 4/4–Sunday, 4/6 (Highway 17 Theatres)

MEET THE BROWNS

(PG-13) In Browns, single mom Brenda (Angela Bassett) struggles to raise her three kids in inner-city Chicago without the help of any of the children’s three different daddies. When the father she never knew dies, Brenda hops a bus down to Georgia where she meets her siblings. Perry’s latest faith-driven dramedy is especially atonal - screeching gospel one moment, giant drippy ballad the next, and silly novelty song the next - and features an unnecessary cameo from Madea (Perry). These Browns aren’t worth meeting. (Beechwood, Carmike)

NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS

(PG) A not-awful throwback to matinee serials a la Indiana Jones, National Treasure was a feature-length commercial for American historical tourism. What National Treasure was not - a lobotomized counterfeiter of thrills - happens to be everything its follow-up, Book of Secrets, is. (Georgia Square 5)

NEVER BACK DOWN

(PG-13) You see every one of Never Back Down’s moves coming; this teen fight flick is no sucker punch. Great film if you want to watch a bunch of 20-something dudes act like 17-year-olds and beat the crap out of one another. (Carmike)

NIM'S ISLAND

(PG) Popular author Alexandra Rover (Jodie Foster) must help her number one fan, Nim (Abigail Breslin), find her father (Gerard Butler), a scientist who has gone missing from the magical island ruled by Nim’s imagination. The problem is Alexandra lives in the big city and is afraid to leave her home. Thankfully, the world’s greatest adventurer, Alex Rover (also Butler), is ready to help out; unfortunately, he happens to be a fictional character created by Alexandra. Based on the novel by Wendy Orr and Kerry Millard. Opens Friday (Beechwood, Carmike)

THE RUINS

(R) A group of young American tourists (Shawn Ashmore, Jena Malone, Jonathan Tucker and Laura Ramsey) hike deep into the Mexican jungle and run into some ancient evil. Scott Smith’s second novel was a scary reading experience; hopefully, the movie version will capture some of that abject terror. It could, as Smith, the Oscar nominated screenwriter of A Simple Plan (adapted from his own first novel) handled the adaptation. But A Simple Plan was helmed by Sam Raimi; The Ruins is fashion photographer Carter Smith’s feature debut. Opens Friday (Beechwood, Carmike)

RUN, FAT BOY, RUN

(PG-13) See Movie Pick. (Beechwood, Carmike)

SHUTTER

(PG-13) This slice of pitiful PG-13 horror pie tasted just fine to its target audience. The 13 (and unders) in the theater were scared out of their minds by this predictable A-horror remake; however, Shutter caused me to barely shudder. Based on a Thai film, Shutter refers to a component of the cameras used by photographer Ben (Joshua Jackson) and his wife, Jane (Rachael Taylor, Transformers), to capture the spirit of the dead girl that has been haunting the newlyweds ever since a non-fatal traffic accident. Director Masayuki Ochiai and writer Luke Dawson have absolutely nothing new to say on the subject of vengeful ghosts and cursed technology. Shutter could well be called The Ring 3 or The Grudge 3, and no one would be the wiser. The scariest thing about Shutter is the realization that Asian horror remakes are about as killable as Jason Voorhees. (Carmike) Ends Thursday (Beechwood)

THE SILVER CHAINLETTER

(NR) 1998. The UGA Library continues its Women’s Vision Film Series, a celebration of women filmmakers for Women’s History Month, with The Silver Chainletter, a lo-fi experiment from acclaimed independent filmmaker Miranda July (Me and You and Everyone We Know). Each chainletter (there are several; http://joanie4jackie.com/chainletter/index.php catalogues them) collects the correspondence from several women filmmakers who communicate through tapes of their work. Leanne Finnigan, Media Desk Supervisor at the UGA Libraries Media Department, will briefly introduce the film. Refreshments will be provided. Shows Tuesday, 4/8 (UGA Library)

SLEEPWALKING

(R) The film, written by Zac Stanford and directed by Bill Maher, isn’t awful, but it’s not very memorable either. Jolene (Charlize Theron) and her daughter, Tara (AnnaSophia Robb), are homeless again. Taking advantage of her brother James’s (Nick Stahl) generosity, Jolene drops Tara off and promptly skips town, leaving the nearly catatonic 20-something to care for his 11-year-old niece. James then takes Tara out of her foster home and hits the road. Maher relies far too much on chintzy emotional zooms and Stanford seems under the impression that the more depressing his script, the more “real” the film. I could have done without another meandering character study with little plotting, and a tone that seesawed from a Lifetime movie to In Cold Blood. Ends Thursday (Beechwood)

SPOTLIGHT: LOCAL FILM NITE

(NR) The Spotlight Foundation presents an evening of original short films made by Athens filmmakers including Eric Harris and Joey Foreman, Heather Comeau, Taylor Hart, Jason Miller, Lilly Erwin and many more. Details and lineup of films at www.athenscine.com. Proceeds benefit the Athens chapter of the American Red Cross. Shows Thursday, 4/3 (Ciné)

SUPERHERO MOVIE

(PG-13) Superhero Movie, the latest spoof in the Movie franchise, is more Naked Gun than Scary Movie. Shed of the dead weight of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Setzer, Superhero Movie is more focused, less scatological, and actually kind of funny. The comedy flails when it tacks on larger jokes aimed at every comic book turned blockbuster film (spoofees include X-Men, Fantastic Four and Batman). Irreverent and filled with visual gags reminiscent of Airplane! and The Naked Gun, Superhero Movie is the first spoof I’ve seen in years that actually earned some real laughs. (Beechwood, Carmike)

THERE WILL BE BLOOD

(R) The latest film from Paul Thomas Anderson solidifies the writer-director’s position as the most challenging auteur birthed by the 1990s. Daniel Plainview (Academy Award nominee Daniel Day-Lewis) could be any self-made, bastard, millionaire man-monster determined to make a fortune, sanity be damned. This demanding film leaves an impression as deep as the Grand Canyon. (Georgia Square 5)

UNTRACEABLE

(R) This passable, third-rate, cyber Silence of the Lambs knockoff isn’t as bad as its trailer portends. FBI cyber crime fighter Jennifer Marsh (Diane Lane) must stop a serial killer before he uses another web audience to sadistically torture and murder his latest victim. Directed by the sturdy Gregory Hoblit (Fracture). Starts Friday (Georgia Square 5)

VANTAGE POINT

(PG-13) In the ever-expanding genre of action movies for old people, Dennis Quaid is like Arnold Schwarzeneggar in his ‘80s heyday. Too bad the slam-bang premise of Quaid’s latest action film for your parents, Vantage Point, gives out short of the climax. Ends Thursday (Beechwood)

WELCOME HOME ROSCOE JENKINS

(PG-13) Welcome home patently offensive, incorrect and insulting visions of the South, particularly Georgia. TV personality Dr. R.J. Stevens (Martin Lawrence) returns home for the first time in years with his fiancée, “Survivor” diva Bianca (Joy Bryant), and his preteen son (Damani Roberts). At the family reunion, Dr. Stevens reverts to Roscoe, the perpetual loser always being picked on by his siblings (Mo’Nique and Michael Clarke Duncan) and his cousin Clyde (Cedric the Entertainer). Lessons are learned; bonds are reforged; Lawrence gets sprayed by a skunk. Roscoe Jenkins will never be welcome in my home. (Georgia Square 5)

Drew Wheeler