originally published March 26, 2008

10,000 B.C.

(PG-13) 10,000 B.C. isn’t epic enough to overcome its grievous historical inaccuracies. The greatest flaw of 10,000 B.C. may be in its geography. I could suspend my disbelief to allow for the general abuse of time, but the lack of any geographical cohesion troubled me to no end. Without an engaging story or characters to cling to, 10,000 B.C. left me with far too much time to struggle to make a whole out of the ill-fitting pieces of this shattered lost world. (Beechwood, Carmike)

21

(PG-13) Based on actual events where an MIT prof, played by Kevin Spacey, trained six of his students (including Jim Sturgess of Across the Universe and Kate Bosworth) to count cards. Soon, the college kids are taking numerous Vegas casinos for millions and running afoul of toughs like Laurence Fishburne. Legally Blonde and Monster-in-Law director Robert Luketic is far from his usual chick flick fare. I’m curious to see how 21’s Sturgess-driven ad campaign pans out. Opens Friday (Beechwood, Carmike)

ALICE NEEL

(NR) 2007. One of America’s greatest portraitists, Alice Neel painted a vast and varied group of sitters that included Andy Warhol, Allen Ginsberg, Communist Party Leaders, and Neel’s own neighbors in Spanish Harlem. Professor Bill Paul introduces the film at this screening sponsored by the Georgia Museum of Art and the UGA Parents and Families Association. Shows Wednesday, 3/26 (GMOA)

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS

(PG) My nostalgic love for the Chipmunks lowered my expectations for the their live-action/ CGI debut, which was a good thing. Ends Thursday (George Square 5)

ANTON THE MAGICIAN

(NR) 1978. This East German comedy pokes fun at the “planned” economy and its unforeseen moneymaking schemes. Anton Grubske (Ulrich Thein) becomes a millionaire through shady means before going to prison, losing his fortune, and becoming a reluctant philanthropist once he regains it. The 4:15 p.m. screening on Friday, 3/28, will be introduced by Dresen. Part of the Andreas Dresen German Film Festival presented in collaboration with Ciné and in conjunction with the German Studies Conference at UGA. Shows Friday, 3/28–Saturday, 3/29 (Ciné)

THE BANK JOB

(R) The Bank Job, based on the infamous 1971 robbery of a London bank, doesn’t stray far from the heist movie formula, yet the film milks that staid old M.O. for all it’s excitingly worth and then some. The Bank Job ranks right up there on the shortlist of 2008’s great films. Ends Thursday (Beechwood, Carmike)

THE BRIDGE

(NR) Kick-off event for the 3rd annual Depression and Suicide Awareness Week, and benefit for Nuçi's Space. Documentary of "the alluring beauty of the Golden Gate Bridge and the individuals who are drawn there as a means to end their pain." Inspired by Eric Steel's "Jumpers," an article that appeared in The New Yorker. Panel discussion follows 7 p.m. screening. Shows Wednesday, 4/2 (Ciné)

BURNING THE FUTURE

(NR) Presented by EcoFocus and the Sundance Green Channel. A new documentary about the coal industry, mountain top removal mining and citizen activism in West Virginia. Proceeds benefit the EcoFocus Film Festival scheduled for October this year. Panel discussion and reception follow the screening. Shows Tuesday, April 1 (Ciné)

CARRIER

(NR) Three football fields long and carrying more than 5,000 Navy personnel and 85 military aircraft, the USS Nimitz is a true behemoth. This sneak preview of episode 1 of PBS’s dramatic non-fiction immersion in the day-to-day operations of the nuclear aircraft carrier sounds exciting. Executive producer-director Maro Chermayeff and producer Jeff Dupre will be present at the screening sponsored by Georgia Public Broadcasting. RSVP at www.gpb.org. Shows Wednesday, 4/2 (Georgia Center)

CINEMA PARADISO

(PG) 1988. Filmmaker Salvatore “Toto” Di Vita recalls his first loves - Maria and the movies - and the deep friendship he formed with the cinema projectionist, Alfredo. Italian filmmaker Guiseppe Tornatore’s charming film won audiences’ hearts as well as the Academy Award and the Golden Globe for Best Foreign Film. Shows Sunday, 3/30–Monday, 3/31 (Ciné)

CLOVERFIELD

(PG-13) More experience than movie, Cloverfield immerses you in a fake attack on New York City. It's a lean, mean monster movie. Shot on handheld digital cameras, the entire film sustains the illusion that everything is happening right then and there to the small band of 20-somethings. Ends Thursday (Georgia Square 5)

COLLEGE ROAD TRIP

(G) Martin Lawrence returns to the big screen for the second time in a month. Lawrence is Chief James Porter, the overprotective policeman father who decides to accompany - and mortify - his daughter, high school senior Rachel (Raven-Symoné), on a cross-country trip to pick a college. (Beechwood, Carmike)

CONTRAPLANO IBEROAMERICAN SHORT FILM FESTIVAL

(NR) comes to UGA from Segovia, Spain. Films scheduled are Changes, Hasta los Huesos, La Guerra, Sirenas sin fondo and many more. Sponsored by the Department of Romance Languages, the Latin American and Caribbean Studies Institute, Dr. John Ross, Cachivache, Cali´n´Titos, Little Kings and Espresso Royale. Also, a party and screening of Llmoncello at Little Kings on April 1 at 9 p.m. Full schedule at www.rom.uga.edu/contraplanoUGA/filmfest. Shows Monday, 3/31–Wednesday, 4/2 (SLC)

DOOMSDAY

(R) Conjured with uncompromising vision by British writer-director Neil Marshall (Dog Soldiers and The Descent), Doomsday will appeal to cult film devotees over casual filmgoers, but those like yours truly will fall dizzily head over hills in mad love with this action/ horror/ sci-fi mash note to John Carpenter. In the year 2035, Scotland has been walled off from England for 30 years, after the initial outbreak of a deadly virus. When London becomes the newest hot zone, the shady government sends in Major Eden Sinclair (Rhona Mitra) to find out if the survivors have a cure. Doomsday doesn’t disappoint the genre faithful constantly seeking new cult films to canonize. (Carmike) Ends Thursday (Beechwood)

DRILLBIT TAYLOR

(PG-13) See Movie Pick. (Beechwood, Carmike)

EILEEN GRAY

(NR) 2006. Architect and director Eileen Gray may have defined the Modern, but her furniture - the Adjustable Table, the Lota Sofa, and the Tube Light - are more famous than she is. Writer-director Jörg Bundschuh hopes to right that wrong with this documentary about Gray. Margaret Woosnam, of Furnishings & Interiors, will lead a discussion after the film. Sponsored by the Institute for Women’s Studies and the Libraries Media Department as part of the Women’s History Month Film Festival. Shows Monday, 3/31 (SLC)

THE EYE

(PG-13) I know I enjoyed the 2002 Hong Kong chiller from The Pang Brothers (The Messengers) on which this Jessica Alba vehicle was based, but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember why as I watched the remake. It’s not that the horror film about a young violinist (Alba) who begins seeing dead people after a cornea transplant is that awful. The flick from directors David Moreau and Xavier Palud and Gothika scribe Sebastian Gutierrez isn’t bad, but it is boring. Starts Friday (Georgia Square 5)

FILM ABOUT A WOMAN WHO...

(NR) 1974. Director Yvonne Rainer’s film, considered a landmark text by feminist theorists, plays with the conventions of soap opera and clichés to unmask the enormous anger fed by one woman’s sexual dissatisfaction. Dr. Antje Ascheid, an Assistant Professor in the Department of Drama and Theatre who specializes in film history and criticism, will lead a discussion after the film. Shows Wednesday, 3/26 (SLC)

FIRST SUNDAY

(PG-13) An odd, not unsuccessful mix of church and booty humor. Ends Thursday (Georgia Square 5)

GRILL POINT

(NR) 2002. Director Andreas Dresen’s film revolves around an affair in a small East German town. The 7:00 p.m. screening on 3/26 will be introduced by Dresen. Part of the Andreas Dresen German Film Festival presented in collaboration with Ciné and in conjunction with the German Studies Conference at UGA. See box on p. 16. Shows Wednesday, 3/26–Thursday, 3/27 (Ciné)

HORTON HEARS A WHO!

(G) The 1954 children’s classic about Horton the Elephant (v. Jim Carrey), whose giant ears allow him to communicate with the tiny speck that is the town of Whoville is one of the good doctor’s most beloved tales, right behind Green Eggs and Ham. The laughs in Horton are never cheap or juvenile (a plus for the adult Seuss lovers in the crowd), yet they are perfectly pitched for little ones’ ears. (Beechwood, Carmike)

I AM LEGEND

(PG-13) I Am Legend is another addition to one of my all-time favorite movie sub-genres: the post-apocalyptic survival story. Will Smith plays Robert Neville, a military scientist haunted by his past and his failure to stop a mutating virus. The story was adapted from a 1954 novel by Richard Matheson which has already been turned into two movies. This adaptation wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t very good, either. [Alex Moore] (Georgia Square 5)

IN BRUGES

(R) See Movie Pick. (Beechwood, Carmike)

JUMPER

(PG-13) The good aspects of Jumper are few and include Hayden Christensen’s hotness (or so I’ve been told) and a neat idea about teleportation powers. The rest of the movie was pure two-dimensional fluff. [Alex Moore] (Georgia Square 5)

JUNO

(PG-13) A frank, funny discussion of family, teenage sexuality and parenting without a hint of the cool irony that typically detaches independent comedies, Juno lives up to all its hype. Starts Sunday, 3/30 (Ciné)

THE LEGEND OF PAUL AND PAULA

(NR) 1973. Writer-director Heiner Carow’s film has been hailed as the most popular East German film ever made. The love story of a single mother, Paula (Angelica Domröse), and a married bureaucrat, Paul (Winfried Glatzeder), remains a popular cult film to this day. The 9:40 p.m. screening on Friday, 3/28, will be introduced by Dresen. Part of the Andreas Dresen German Film Festival. Shows Friday, 3/28–Saturday, 3/29 (Ciné)

MAD MONEY

(PG-13) Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah and Katie Holmes rob the Federal Reserve. The leads are game, and interweaving a heist movie with themes of female empowerment gone awry, and the corporate downsizing of white upper-middle class America is intriguing. Too bad the direction stinks. Shows Friday, 3/28–Sunday, 3/30 (Highway 17 Theatres)

THE MARRIAGE OF MARIA BRAUN

(R) 1979. Winner of the Berlin International Film Festival and a Golden Globe for Best Foreign Film, Fassbinder’s film follows the titular character, played by Silver Berlin Bear winner Hanna Schygulla, as she negotiates life in Germany in the waning days of WWII. Part of the Andreas Dresen German Film Festival. See box on p. 16. Shows Wednesday, 3/26–Thursday 3/27 (Ciné)

MEET THE BROWNS

(PG-13) Ever since stumbling into 2005’s box office surprise, Diary of a Mad Black Woman, I’ve looked forward to each new Tyler Perry film. After taking two cinematic steps forward with Why Did I Get Married?, the producer/writer/director/actor took three steps back with Meet the Browns. In Browns, single mom Brenda (Angela Bassett) struggles to raise her three kids in inner-city Chicago without the help of any of the children’s three different daddies. When the father she never knew dies, Brenda hops a bus down to Georgia where she meets her siblings - stalwart anchor L.B. (Frankie Faison); leisure suit sporting, walking malapropism Lester (David Mann); and mean-spirited, gossipy alcoholic Vera (a hammy Jenifer Lewis). Brenda decides Georgia, family, and a hunky high school basketball coach (former Laker Rick Fox) might not be such a bad thing after discovering her son, could-be basketball star Michael (Lance Gross), dealing drugs to pay the bills. Perry’s latest faith-driven dramedy is especially atonal - screeching gospel one moment, giant drippy ballad the next, and silly novelty song the next - and features an unnecessary cameo from Madea (Perry). These Browns aren’t worth meeting. (Beechwood, Carmike)

MONSOON WEDDING

(R) 2001. As Aditi, who lives in Delhi, awaits her marriage to Hemant Rai, an Indian living in Houston, her family continues their over-preparation in anticipation of the family and friends who will soon arrive to celebrate the momentous occasion. Meanwhile, Aditi has preparations of her own; she must end her affair with a TV producer. Golden Globe nominee for Best Foreign Language Film, Monsoon Wedding captured worldwide attention for filmmaker Mira Nair (Mississippi Masala, Vanity Fair, The Namesake). Part of the Movie Monday series sponsored by Multicultural Service and Programs. Shows Monday, 3/31 (Memorial Hall)

NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS

(PG) A not-awful throwback to matinee serials a la Indiana Jones, National Treasure was a feature-length commercial for American historical tourism. What National Treasure was not - a lobotomized counterfeiter of thrills - happens to be everything its follow-up, Book of Secrets, is. (Georgia Square 5)

NEVER BACK DOWN

(PG-13) You see every one of Never Back Down’s moves coming; this teen fight flick is no sucker punch. Great film if you want to watch a bunch of 20-something dudes act like 17-year-olds and beat the crap out of one another. (Carmike) Ends Thursday (Beechwood)

NEWS FROM HOME

(NR) 1977. Writer-director Chantal Akerman (a Golden Berlin Bear nominee for 1988’s Histoires d’Amérique, a Venice Golden Lion nominee for 1991’s Nuit et Jour, and a César nominee for 2006’s Là-bas) also narrated this fragmentary, abstract portrait of life in 1970s New York City. Akerman accompanies images of the energetic city with readings of her mother’s letters from Belgium. Part of the Women’s Vision Film Series, a celebration of women filmmakers for Women’s History Month, sponsored by the UGA Libraries. Refreshments will be provided. Shows Tuesday, 4/1 (UGA Library)

NIGHTSHAPES

(NR) 1999. Comprised of three stories all taking place in Berlin during a single day when the Pope visited the city, Andreas Dresen’s Nightshapes won the Berlin International Film Festival’s Silver Bear for Best Actor and the Prix Europa. The 12:15 p.m. screening on Friday, 3/29, will be introduced by director Dresen. Part of the Andreas Dresen German Film Festival. Shows Friday, 3/28–Saturday, 3/29 (Ciné)

THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL

(PG-13) The Other Boleyn Girl watches like a TV network’s World Premiere Movie Event, yet Showtime’s “The Tudors” easily out-acts, out-sexes and outclasses this boring bodice-ripper based on Philippa Gregory’s bestseller. The film is devoid of chemistry, be it between Henry (an extremely petty, unlikable Eric Bana) and Mary (Scarlett Johannsson, who just seems out of time and place), Henry and Anne (Natalie Portman), or Mary and Anne. A late rebound occurs when Anne starts losing her mind before she loses her head, but that upsurge cannot wash away the passionless humdrum that preceded it. Ends Thursday (Beechwood)

THE POLICEWOMAN

(NR) 2000. Andreas Dresen’s The Policewoman, or Die Polizistin, follows Anne, a recent Police Academy graduate who is hoping for a new life - and hopefully a new man - but winds up in the bleak criminal confines of Rostock. Director Dresen will discuss the film following the 9:15 p.m. screening on 3/26. Part of the Andreas Dresen German Film Festival presented in conjunction with the German Studies Conference at UGA. Shows Wednesday, 3/26–Thursday, 3/27 (Ciné)

RUN, FAT BOY, RUN

(PG-13) Dennis (Simon Pegg, Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz) left his pregnant fiancé (Thandie Newton) at the altar five years ago; now that he realizes she’s his one true love - and she’s engaged to an American named Whit (Hank Azaria) - Dennis decides to win her back by running a marathon. With a screenplay written by Pegg and Michael Ian Black and direction by David “Ross” Schwimmer, Run, Fatboy, Run is powered by some efficiently funny generators. Opens Friday (Beechwood, Carmike)

SECRET LIVES: HIDDEN CHILDREN AND THEIR RESCUERS DURING WWII

(NR) 2002. This documentary tells the story of the individuals who reacted to the Nazis with defiance and humanity. In conjunction with the current exhibit, "Anne Frank: A History for Today." Shows Thursday, 3/27 (ACC Library)

SHOOT 'EM UP

(R) 2007. Shoot ‘Em Up is an inventive, comic-inspired, video game-sired bloodbath. Cartoonish and buffoonish, Shoot ‘Em Up is riddled with bullets and fun. Shows Wednesday, 3/26 (SLC)

SHUTTER

(PG-13) This slice of pitiful PG-13 horror pie tasted just fine to its target audience. The 13 (and unders) in the theater were scared out of their minds by this predictable A-horror remake; however, Shutter caused me to barely shudder. Based on a Thai film, Shutter refers to a component of the cameras used by photographer Ben (Joshua Jackson) and his wife, Jane (Rachael Taylor, Transformers), to capture the spirit of the dead girl that has been haunting the newlyweds ever since a non-fatal traffic accident. Director Masayuki Ochiai and writer Luke Dawson have absolutely nothing new to say on the subject of vengeful ghosts and cursed technology. Shutter could well be called The Ring 3 or The Grudge 3, and no one would be the wiser. The scariest thing about Shutter is the realization that Asian horror remakes are about as killable as Jason Voorhees. (Beechwood, Carmike)

SIN CITY

(R) 2005. Robert Rodriguez slam-bangs comic book god Frank Miller’s Sin City upon the screen with bloody accuracy, staging the near transcendent violence so as to build to tremendous crescendos of decapitations, dismemberments, below-the-belt bullet wounds and cannibalism. Sin City is a sexy, überviolent, funny film is everything for which a Miller fan could hope. Shows Wednesday, 3/26 (SLC)

SLEEPWALKING

(R) Drama about an 11-year-old girl struggling to come to terms with her mother's abandonment. Stars Charlize Theron. Opens Friday (Beechwood)

SOLO SUNNY

(NR) 1980. Sunny (Renate Krößner) is a factory worker who sings in a band, The Tornadoes, trying to make it in East Berlin. But Sunny wants to go solo in music and life in director Konrad Wolf and co-director Wolfgang Kohlhaase’s film. Solo Sunny won the Berlin International Film Festival’s Silver Bear and award for Best Actress and the Chicago International Film Festival’s Gold Plaque for Best Script. Part of the Andreas Dresen German Film Festival. Shows Wednesday, 3/26–Thursday, 3/27 (Ciné)

SUMMER IN BERLIN

(NR) 2006. Directed by Andreas Dresen and written by Solo Sunny’s Wolfgang Kohlhaase, Summer in Berlin centers on two women, Nike and Katrin, as they struggle through their daily lives. The film won the Chicago International Film Festival’s Silver Hugo for Best Actress, the Bavarian Film Award for Best Direction, and the San Sebastian International Film Festival for Best Screenplay. The 6:00 p.m. screening on Saturday, 3/29, will be introduced by director Dresen, and a discussion will follow. Part of the Andreas Dresen German Film Festival. Shows Friday, 3/28–Saturday, 3/29 (Ciné)

SUPERHERO MOVIE

(PG-13) Saddled with the baggage of the Movie franchise, this Spider-Man send-up might have better success with the title Dragonfly-Man or something less incriminating. A freak accident turns Rick Riker (Drake Bell) into a hero with dragonfly-enhanced superpowers like... whatever a dragonfly can do. Spoof veteran Leslie Nielsen, who proved his parodic mettle with Airplane and The Naked Gun, is on hand, and certain trailers give me slight hope. With Sara Paxton, Christopher McDonald, Brent Spiner, Pamela Anderson and Tracy Morgan. Opens Friday (Beechwood, Carmike)

THERE WILL BE BLOOD

(R) The latest film from Paul Thomas Anderson solidifies the writer-director’s position as the most challenging auteur birthed by the 1990s. Daniel Plainview (Academy Award nominee Daniel Day-Lewis) could be any self-made, bastard, millionaire man-monster determined to make a fortune, sanity be damned. This demanding film leaves an impression as deep as the Grand Canyon. Starts Friday (Georgia Square 5)

VANTAGE POINT

(PG-13) In the ever-expanding genre of action movies for old people, Dennis Quaid is like Arnold Schwarzeneggar in his ‘80s heyday. Too bad the slam-bang premise of Quaid’s latest action film for your parents, Vantage Point, gives out short of the climax. (Beechwood) Ends Thursday (Carmike)

WELCOME HOME ROSCOE JENKINS

(PG-13) Welcome home patently offensive, incorrect and insulting visions of the South, particularly Georgia. TV personality Dr. R.J. Stevens (Martin Lawrence) returns home for the first time in years with his fiancée, “Survivor” diva Bianca (Joy Bryant), and his preteen son (Damani Roberts). At the family reunion, Dr. Stevens reverts to Roscoe, the perpetual loser always being picked on by his siblings (Mo’Nique and Michael Clarke Duncan) and his cousin Clyde (Cedric the Entertainer). Lessons are learned; bonds are reforged; Lawrence gets sprayed by a skunk. Roscoe Jenkins will never be welcome in my home. Starts Friday (Georgia Square 5)

Drew Wheeler