originally published March 5, 2008

10,000 B.C.

(PG-13)10,000 B.C. follows a young mammoth hunter, D’Leh (Steven Strait from last fall’s default hit, The Covenant), tracking a hostile civilization through uncharted territory to save his tribe and his girlfriend. Director Roland Emmerich, who has done sci-fi (Independence Day); and done politicized quasi-sci-fi (The Day After Tomorrow); and done American history (The Patriot). I guess prehistory is as good a new target as any. Opens Friday (Beechwood, Carmike)

27 DRESSES

(PG-13) If only the romantic comedy clichés here were more likable or dynamic, this flick, starring Katherine Heigl as an eternal bridesmaid in love with her boss (Edward Burns) who is engaged to her selfish little sister (Malin Ackerman), might have been more than cute. (Georgia Square 5)

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS

(PG) My nostalgic love for the Chipmunks lowered my expectations for the their live-action/ CGI debut, which was a good thing. (George Square 5)

THE BANK JOB

(R) The Bank Job dramatizes one of Britain’s biggest crimes. A group of unseasoned criminals are tricked into robbing safety deposit boxes; instead, they’re actually stealing naughty pictures of a Royal princess that will thrust the motley crew into the middle of a scandal encompassing the criminal underworld and the Royal Family. Opens Friday (Beechwood, Carmike)

BELLS OF SAN ANGELO

(NR) 1947. See the Hollywood classic starring Roy Rogers on the big screen. Film features a non-intrusive narration track for the visually-impaired viewers. Shows Thursday, 3/6 (ACC Library)

BE KIND REWIND

(PG-13) I want to swede, that’s what Jack Black’s Jerry and Mos Def’s Mike call the process during which they “charmingly” and ineptly reshoot popular movies using only themselves, their friends and their own no budget ingenuity. Be Kind Rewind may be creative, but it’s also cloying and presumptive, two criticisms that cannot be levied against Gondry’s best work, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. (Beechwood)

CHARLIE BARTLETT

(R) Unable to fit in at his new high school, rich Charlie Bartlett (Anton Yelchin) becomes the resident therapist, listening and doling out advice and prescriptions to his emotionally needy, hormonally unstable teenage clientele. The talented, hip cast includes Robert Downey Jr. as the school principal and Hope Davis as Charlie’s mom. Opens Friday (Carmike)

COCKTAILS & CONVERSATIONS WITH ROBERT OSBORNE

(NR) Evening benefiting Robert Osborne's Classic Film Festival 2008. Featuring behind-the-scenes stories and tales of Hollywood as told by Turner Classic Movies Host Robert Osborne. Also, trailers for the upcoming festival movies. Tapas and wines by The National. Shows Friday, 3/7 (Ciné)

COLLEGE ROAD TRIP

(G) Martin Lawrence returns to the big screen for the second time in a month. Lawrence is Chief James Porter, the overprotective policeman father who decides to accompany—and mortify—his daughter, high school senior Rachel (Raven-Symoné), on a cross-country trip to pick a college. Opens Friday (Beechwood, Carmike)

DEFINITELY, MAYBE

(PG-13) Writer-director Adam Brooks constructs a nicely inventive way to tell a conventional love story: Will Hayes (Ryan Reynolds) is getting divorced. To help his daughter, Maya (Abigail Breslin), cope with the impending breakup of her family, he decides to narrate the story of how he met and fell in love with Maya’s mom. As a romcom, Definitely, Maybe is immensely likable and remarkably uninteresting, weighted down by flimsy political commentary, and an anticlimactic romantic reveal. Ends Thursday (Beechwood, Carmike)

THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY

(PG-13) Director Julian Schnabel, screenwriter Ronald Harwood, and cinematography superstar Janusz Kaminski have made two hours trapped in someone else’s paralyzed body heartbreakingly painless. Most of Diving Bell is narrated from the perspective of Jean-Dominique Bauby, the editor of Elle who wrote his memoir by blinking his left eye, the only body part left unparalyzed by a stroke. Schnabel employs stylistic flourishes to transcend the pedestrian sentimentality associated with inspirational true stories about physically challenged protagonists. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly was the best foreign language film of 2007. (Ciné)

ENCHANTED

(PG) Disney's Enchanted is a sometimes clever, other times irritating mix of live-action and animation. A lollypop of a movie, this airy fairy-tale is set in contemporary New York. Although it has the makings of a sugarcoated hit, and Amy Adams is utterly adorable, you may feel your sweet tooth begin to ache. [Cotter] (Georgia Square 5)

THE EYE

(PG-13) I know I enjoyed the 2002 Hong Kong chiller from The Pang Brothers (The Messengers) on which this Jessica Alba vehicle was based, but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember why as I watched the remake. It’s not that the horror film about a young violinist (Alba) who begins seeing dead people after a cornea transplant is that awful. Not bad, but it is boring. Ends Thursday (Carmike)

FOOL'S GOLD

(PG-13) Fool’s Gold is as lazy and dumb as its cartoonish main character, treasure salvager Finn (Matthew McConaughey). Kate Hudson does what little she can to tone down Finn’s ex-wife Tess’ shrill unlikability, but the rest of the cast are shackled by unnecessary accents. A dud in every way. (Beechwood, Carmike)

FREEDOM WRITERS

(PG-13) Freedom Writers, based on the true story of Erin Gruwell and her students, bucks the trend of D.O.A. January releases. As a first-year teacher, Gruwell (Hilary Swank) enters a hellish environment populated with gang bangers, recent parolees and any other teen deemed “unteachable” by a system not willing to adapt. Swank is a perfect hire for the small but steely Gruwell, whose growth as a teacher is as significant to the film as the transformation of her students. Shows Tu. 3/11 (Oconee County Library)

HANNAH MONTANA/MILEY CYRUS: BEST OF BOTH WORLDS CONCERT TOUR

(G) There are only two types of people in the world, those that HAVE to see this flick in its week-long box office run (tweens and parents of tweens) and everyone else. If you don’t know, Hannah Montana is the television alter ego of Achy Breaky Billy Ray Cyrus’ daughter, Miley, who has a bestselling album of her own. In 3-D. Ends Thursday (Carmike)

I AM LEGEND

(PG-13) I Am Legend is another addition to one of my all-time favorite movie sub-genres: the post-apocalyptic survival story. Will Smith plays Robert Neville, a military scientist haunted by his past and his failure to stop a mutating virus. The story was adapted from a 1954 novel by Richard Matheson which has already been turned into two movies. This adaptation wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t very good, either. [Alex Moore] (Georgia Square 5)

JUMPER

(PG-13) The good aspects of Jumper are few and include Hayden Christensen’s hotness (or so I’ve been told) and a neat idea about teleportation powers. The rest of the movie was pure two-dimensional fluff. [Alex Moore] (Beechwood) Ends Thursday (Carmike)

JUNO

(PG-13) A frank, funny discussion of family, teenage sexuality and parenting without a hint of the cool irony that typically detaches independent comedies, Juno lives up to all its hype, most of which has deservedly swirled around screenwriter Diablo Cody and actress Ellen Page (Hard Candy). Director Jason Reitman's second feature is as wickedly witty as his first, Thank You for Smoking. Juno’s teenage pregnancy may be the least complicated - and funniest - of all time, yet that youthful optimism is something of which we could use a lot more. Unlike so many independent comedies, Juno isn’t too cool to care. (Beechwood)

KAMP KATRINA

(NR) The Southern Circuit Tour of Independent Filmmakers, a sextet of independent films to be shown at the Georgia Museum of Art in 2007 and 2008, returns with its fifth film, Kamp Katrina, directed by Sundance Grand Jury Prize nominee David Redmon and Ashley Sabin. Kamp Katrina is located in the backyard of New Orleans Upper 9th Ward resident, Ms. Pearl, whose generous attempt to help people following the tragic storm devolved into violence. Redmon will be present to introduce and discuss his film. Sponsored by the Georgia Museum of Art and the UGA Parents & Families Association. Shows Wednesday, 3/12 (GMOA)

KING CORN

(NR) 2007. Ian Cheney and Curt Ellis, best friends from an east coast college, decided to move to Iowa where they get help from friendly neighbors, genetic modifications, fertilizers, and herbicides planting a bumper crop of America’s number one grain, in terms of production and subsidization. But once their crop leaves the fields and enters our food system, the new farmers are left with troubling questions. King Corn was an official selection of both the SXSW Film Festival and the HOTDOCS Film Festival. Part of the ACC Library’s iFilms series. Shows Thursday, 3/6 (ACC Library)

MAD MONEY

(PG-13) Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah and Katie Holmes star as three women who rob the Federal Reserve. The leads are game, and interweaving a heist movie with themes of female empowerment gone awry and the corporate downsizing of white upper middle class America is intriguing. Too bad the direction stinks. (Highway 17 Theatres) Starts Friday (Georgia Square 5)

MISS PETTIGREW LIVES FOR A DAY

(PG-13) London governess Guinevere Pettigrew (Frances McDormand) takes a job with lively American singer and actress Delysia Lafosse (Amy Adams). Soon Miss Pettigrew is plunged into the dizzying glamour of high society. Based on a popular novel of the 1930s written by Winifred Watson. Opens Friday (Beechwood, Carmike)

OSCAR NOMINATED ANIMATED SHORTS

(PG-13) See Movie Pick. Starts Friday (Ciné)

OSCAR NOMINATED LIVE ACTION SHORTS

(PG-13) See Movie Pick. Starts Saturday, 3/8 (Ciné)

THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL

(PG-13) The Other Boleyn Girl watches like a TV network’s World Premiere Movie Event, yet Showtime’s “The Tudors” easily out-acts, out-sexes and outclasses this boring bodice-ripper based on Philippa Gregory’s bestseller. The film is devoid of chemistry, be it between Henry (an extremely petty, unlikable Eric Bana) and Mary (Scarlett Johannsson, who just seems out of time and place), Henry and Anne (Natalie Portman), or Mary and Anne. A late rebound occurs when Anne starts losing her mind before she loses her head, but that upsurge cannot wash away the passionless humdrum that preceded it. (Beechwood, Carmike)

PENELOPE

(PG)See Flick Skinny. Penelope isn’t as bad as its trailers make it look. Nonetheless, this modern fairy tale suffers from the overconceptualization of all Tim Burton wannabes. Most egregiously, Penelope lacks the magic that might make its misfit tale of a pretty pig-snouted princess (Christina Ricci) looking for a Prince Charming (Atonement’s James McAvoy) to pay for enchanted rhinoplasty with the currency of love, semi-believable. Director Mark Palansky’s feature debut, produced by costar Reese Witherspoon, is cynically sweet, but Ricci looks too radiant to sell the extremity of her suitors’ defenestration and fear. (Beechwood, Carmike)

PERSEPOLIS

(PG-13) Marjane Satrapi and Vincent Paronnaud’s film recounts recent Iranian history through the limited but expanding scope of a young Iranian girl. As Marji matures during and after the revolutions and war of the 1970s and 80s, so does the lens through which she—and ultimately, the audience—view her country. Persepolis depicts Iran with honest, sad resignation at what has transpired in a once proud nation. Yet, amidst the repression, Marjane bubbles with life and energy, creativity and vibrance. How many hundreds of thousands of Iranians also stride confidently through their own insurrectionary Survivor-fueled montage? Persepolis proves there be one at least one. And where there is one… Ends Thursday (Ciné)

SANKOFA

(NR) 1993. In writer-director Haile Gerima’s film, a self-absorbed African-American fashion model on a photo shoot in Africa is transported back to a West Indian plantation where she suffers through the horrors of slavery and the redemption of rebellion. Gerima was nominated for the Berlin International Film Festival’s Golden Bear. This screening is part of the African Diaspora Film Festival sponsored by the Institute for African American Studies. Shows Thursday, 3/6 (SLC)

SEMI-PRO

(R) Where Blades of Glory was simply an amusing ice skating flick, Semi-Pro steals from the annals of sports films to be the closest we may get to a new Slap Shot. In Semi-Pro, the ABA and the NBA are preparing to merge, and Tropics owner Moon will stop at nothing to see his team hit the big-time. Semi-Pro may be a rank amateur when it comes to originality (Major League totally got here first), but a seasoned pro when it comes to laughs. (Beechwood, Carmike)

THE SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES

(PG) The Spiderwick Chronicles is based on a series of bestselling books by Terry DiTerlizzi and Holly Black about the Grace siblings, twins Jared and Simon (Freddie Highmore) and sister Mallory (Sarah Bolger), who discover a fantastical world existing unseen within our own after they move into the creepy old house that belonged to their great granduncle, Arthur Spiderwick (David Strathairn). The Spiderwick Chronicles is exhaustingly, not excitingly, filled with dumb complications that keep the plot moving. (Carmike) Ends Thursday (Beechwood)

STEP UP 2 THE STREETS

(PG-13) The limber sequel to 2006’s surprise dance smash, Step Up 2 the Streets is a step down in almost every way. Ends Thursday (Beechwood, Carmike)

SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET

(R) A dream marriage of material (Stephen Sondheim’s musical in which a serial-killing barber and his landlady sing about meat pies made of man) and artists (Tim Burton and Johnny Depp), Sweeney Todd is bloody perfect. (Georgia Square 5)

VANTAGE POINT

(PG-13) See Flick Skinny. In the ever-expanding genre of action movies for old people, Dennis Quaid is like Arnold Schwarzeneggar in his '80s heyday. Too bad the slam-bang premise of Quaid’s latest action film for your parents, Vantage Point, gives out short of the climax. The assassination of the President of the United States (William Hurt, retreating back to boring safety after the awesome craziness of A History of Violence and Mr. Brooks) is seen from six different perspectives, each revealing more “truth” until the audience knows what really happened. What really happened—some convoluted plot involving double-crosses and the very tired specter of Islamic terrorism—is much less interesting than the Rashomon-style manner in which director Pete Travis and writer Barry L. Levy reveal the whys and hows without unnecessarily repeating themselves too much. Stalwart performers like Hurt, Quaid, Forest Whitaker, Matthew Fox of “Lost,” and Sigourney Weaver face no challenge besides hitting their mark as the chess pieces moved willy-nilly about the cinematic board. Vantage Point is a one trick pony. Minus an energetic rally car chase, the flick goes downhill once its unique vantage point becomes generically omniscient. (Beechwood, Carmike)

WELCOME HOME ROSCOE JENKINS

(PG-13) Welcome home patently offensive, incorrect and insulting visions of the South, particularly Georgia. TV personality Dr. R.J. Stevens (Martin Lawrence) returns home for the first time in years with his fiancée, “Survivor” diva Bianca (Joy Bryant), and his preteen son (Damani Roberts). At the family reunion, Dr. Stevens reverts to Roscoe, the perpetual loser always being picked on by his siblings (Mo’Nique and Michael Clarke Duncan) and his cousin Clyde (Cedric the Entertainer). Lessons are learned; bonds are reforged; Lawrence gets sprayed by a skunk. Roscoe Jenkins will never be welcome in my home. (Carmike) Ends Thursday (Beechwood)

WITLESS PROTECTION

(PG-13) First, he was a health inspector; then he joined the Army; now Larry the Cable Guy, nee Dan Whitney, is the sheriff of a small town. When Larry sees a well-dressed lady in distress at the hands of four mysterious men in black, he swoops in to save the day. Unwittingly, Larry has kidnapped Madeleine (Ivana Milicevic), the key witness in a Chicago crime trial, and must transport her safely to the Windy City. Larry may have drafted his strongest support yet; costars Jenny McCarthy, Yaphet Kotto, Peter Stormare, and Joe Mantegna are a step up from Delta Farce’s DJ Qualls and Bill Engvall (on second thought, are they?), but the results are going to be the same so long as he teams up with filmmakers schooled in nothing more than TV movies like “Who Killed Atlanta’s Children?” (In his defense, writer-director Charles Robert Carner did write the awfully camp-tastic martial gymnastics flick, Gymkata.) But let’s face it. No one’s going to see this movie—or not see it—based on what I’ve written here. Witless Protection should be classified For Larry Fans Only. Ends Thursday (Carmike)

Drew Wheeler