originally published January 24, 2007

ATTENTION FLAGPOLE READERS, WE ARE HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES WITH THIS WEEK'S MOVIE DOPE - WE'LL HAVE IT UP AND RUNNING AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

ALPHA DOG

(R) Alpha Dog is writer-director Nick Cassavetes’ fictionalized accounting of the events leading to Jesse James Hollywood - he’s called Johnny Truelove (Emile Hirsch) in the film - becoming one of the youngest men on the FBI’s Most Wanted list. He is the mastermind behind the kidnapping and murder of Zack Mazursky (Anton Yelchin), the innocent teen brother of a psycho (Ben Foster) who owed Truelove money. Separating Alpha Dog’s fact from its fiction is difficult, and Hollywood in the form of Truelove comes off as a cowardly, Napoleonic douche playing at being “hard.” In defense of Cassavetes, his film looks at the drugged out, thugged-out lifestyle of Truelove and Co. without quite reveling in nor actually condemning their useless, hedonistic existence. This distressing, depressing film is strangely appealing. Ends Thursday (Beechwood)

BLOOD AND CHOCOLATE

(PG-13) Without fail, every single audience I’ve viewed this trailer with has laughed at the dramatic reveal of the year’s runaway worst title (and it’s only January). A young werewolf is torn between a pack that includes Oliver Martinez and human love with Elizabeth I’s Hugh Dancy. Blood and Chocolate is directed by Katja von Garnier (Iron Jawed Angels), produced by the guys behind Underworld, co-written by Scream 3’s Ehren Kruger, and shouldn’t be very good. Based on the book by Annette Curtis Klause. Opens Friday (Carmike)

BORAT

(R) Armed to the teeth with uncomfortable malapropisms and anti-Semitism, Borat Sagdiyev (Sacha Baron Cohen) travels across the United States, unmasking inner bigotry wherever he goes. Cohen isn’t laughing with the us, he’s laughing at the us, a distinction too fine for an America as stupid as the one he exposes to make. (Georgia Square 5)

CATCH AND RELEASE

(PG-13) The trailers for Oscar-winning Erin Brockovich screenwriter Susannah Grant’s directorial debut has been airing for half a year now, and my desire to see Jennifer Garner (“Alias”) make time with her dead fiance’s best friend, played by Timothy Olyphant, can best be classified as low. With Juliette Lewis. Opens Friday (Beechwood, Carmike)

CHARLOTTE’S WEB

(G) E.B. White’s classic gets a makeover. Fern (Dakota Fanning) still saves Wilbur (v. Dominic Scott Kay, The Wild). Charlotte (v. Julia Roberts) and her erudite webs still enable Wilbur to see December’s snow. The idyllic film, set in the Maine of yesteryear, balances humor, heart and cinematic beauty. Charlotte’s Web, some terrific, radiant, humble family film, wins the blue ribbon. (Carmike)

CHILDREN OF MEN

(R) Prophetic filmmaker Alfonso Cuarón conjures the immensely sad weight of a hopeless world without children in his nightmarish yet agile Children of Men. In 2027, humanity is infertile and has been for 18 years before bureaucrat and former activist Theo Faron (Clive Owen, radiating world-weary humor and reluctant heroism) is tasked with protecting the world’s one seed of hope, a pregnant illegal teen called Kee (Clare-Hope Ashitey). Cuarón creates a tangible fake world through an incredibly inventive use of locations, but Children’s artistic exterior should not eclipse its so, so vital story, sentiment, sadness and ultimately, optimism. The breathtaking Children adds several intelligent counterpoints to the post-apocalyptic filmic conversation. A rare example of smart, sharp filmmaking. (Carmike)

CODE NAME: THE CLEANER

(PG-13) When janitor Jake Roberts (Cedric the Entertainer) wakes up with no memory, he replaces his staid existence with one of a government agent caught in the middle of some cloak and dagger corporate espionage. Teamed with a beautiful waitress-cum-undercover agent (Lucy Liu), Jake must stop the baddies from doing something evil with a computer chip. Cedric the Action Star is a ludicrous proposition, and Liu falling for his bumbling, sweet janitor is even more unbelievable. Ends Thursday (Carmike)

CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER

(R) Zhang Yimou (Hero, House of Flying Daggers) may have gone a bit overboard in his latest. Curse of the Golden Flower may be dyed from Daggers’ multihued wool, but narratively, it’s a bore. The Tang Emperor (Chow Yun Fat) faces challenges to his throne from his wife (Gong Li), his three sons, and his past. Yet again, Yimou skimps not a bit on the trappings (hundreds of voluptuously corseted ladies-in-waiting, colossal courtyards of chrysanthemums, massive armies of black and gold clashing in the starlight), but his soap opera of flying swords and political/ familial infighting indulges his actors in stagy affectation. As mere image, the sumptuous Curse, painted with the brushstrokes of one of world cinema’s true masters, is perfect. As a film, it is neither as compelling nor as deep as Yimou’s previous works. Ends Thursday (Beechwood)

THE DEPARTED

(R) Adapted from the Hong Kong actioner Infernal Affairs, The Departed straddles the law with the parallel lives of mob mole Colin Sullivan (Matt Damon) and police rat Billy Costigan (Leonardo DiCaprio). Though Colin and Billy’s intense game of rat-and-mouse dominates the film, Jack Nicholson rules it. In all his kooky finery, Captain Jack lords over his minions as the volatile Frank Costello. Intelligent and taut, The Departed is Martin Scorsese’s most purely entertaining film. Starts Friday (Beechwood, Carmike)

DÉJÀ VU

(PG-13) This sci fi/ action/ romance is never as tricky as it thinks it is, but it’s not a bad way to spend an evening, either. ATF agent Doug Carlin (Denzel Washington) joins a top secret government task force, led by Val Kilmer, to stop the explosion he’s currently investigating from ever happening. (Georgia Square 5)

DREAMGIRLS

(PG-13) Glitzy and glamorous, the Golden Globe-winning Dreamgirls, chronicling the Supremes-like rise of Deena (Beyoncé Knowles), Effie (“American Idol” finalist Jennifer Hudson), and Lorrell (Anika Noni Rose), never shies away from its Broadway roots. Writer-director Bill Condon’s script is near perfect, but no one would notice were it not for the cast. Jamie Foxx and Knowles are good, but it's Murphy and Hudson who earned their Golden Globes. The former Beverly Hills Cop delivers an Academy-approved, showy performance from a diminished star, and though newcomer Hudson’s acting may be a bit rough, her booming voice drums out such thoughts. Dreamgirls has both the rhythm and the blues. (Beechwood, Carmike)

EPIC MOVIE

(PG-13) Last year’s Date Movie escaped year-end worst of status due to its sheer irrelevance. Epic Movie, from the perpetrators of that terribly incompetent parody, continues in the same fashion. I’ve grown to hate these lazy post-Scary Movie parodies with a passion previously reserved only for Rob Schneider. Opens Friday (Beechwood, Carmike)

ERAGON

(PG) I can’t remember watching a movie so disrespectful of its source material, the bestselling novel by Christopher Paolini. Eragon (Edward Speleers), an orphaned farm boy, discovers he’s destined for greatness as the last Dragon Rider, prophesied to save his homeland, Alagaesia, from evil King Galbatorix (John “High Camp” Malkovich). What was innocent awe on paper is hokey on celluloid. The kingdom Paolini so lavishly surveyed with such excruciating detail is laid one-dimensional by visual effects guru Stefen Fangmeier, in his directorial debut. Paolini’s colorful, descriptive voice is jettisoned for an action-driven language that lacks anything epic. Talk your kid out of watching this drivel. Read the book. Starts Friday (Georgia Square 5)

FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS

(R) Clint Eastwood’s elegiac reenactment of the Battle of Iwo Jima and its famous flag-raising is strategically camped between Saving Private Ryan and The Thin Red Line. Flags questions heroism, good and evil, and what effect war has on good men without answering flippantly or jingoistically. Ends Thursday (Georgia Square 5)

FLUSHED AWAY

(PG) Expecting Aardman Animations’ first fully-CGI feature to be as emotionally engaging as Wallace and Gromit is unfair, it's still better than most cartoons, though. After being flushed from his plush home, “society mouse” Roddy (v. Hugh Jackman) enters an ingenious under-London world, which he and pal Rita (v. Kate Winslet) battle the villainous Toad (v. Ian McKellan). (Georgia Square 5)

FREEDOM WRITERS

(PG-13) Freedom Writers, based on the true story of Erin Gruwell and her students, bucks the trend of D.O.A. January releases. Shockingly, I left Freedom Writers with, if not a lump in my throat, a cathartically satisfied inner idealist. As a first-year teacher, Gruwell (Hilary Swank) enters a hellish environment populated with gang bangers, recent parolees and any other teen deemed “unteachable” by a system not willing to adapt. The iron-jawed Swank is a perfect hire for the small but steely Gruwell, whose growth as a teacher is as significant to the film as the transformation of her students, whose unformulaic depth is where writer/ director Richard LaGravenese succeeds. (Carmike)

THE GOOD SHEPHERD

(R) Robert De Niro’s Good Shepherd, a shadowy look at the beginnings of the C.I.A., is the best Cold War-era spy movie in years, and the best gangster movie since Goodfellas. With its origins in Yale’s secretive Skull and Bones Society, the C.I.A. of De Niro and Oscar-winning screenwriter Eric Roth (Schindler’s List) is a family from which you can never escape. The paranoia it breeds festers inside Edward Wilson (Matt Damon) as he chooses country over family, time and again. The Good Shepherd is completely, suspensefully engrossing. Ends Thursday (Beechwood)

HAPPILY N’EVER AFTER

(PG) Cinderella (v. Sarah Michelle Gellar), her Wicked Stepmother Frieda (v. Sigourney Weaver), the Prince (v. Patrick Warburton), Rumplestiltskin, the Big Bad Wolf, and the Seven Dwarfs awkwardly stalk a badly animated world in a film that is poorly voiced and unfunny. Ends Thursday (Carmike)

THE HITCHER

(R) The new Hitcher does the remake thing right. Why go all “Extreme Makeover” on a classic when so many tarnished gems could use the exposure? Besides, no music video director has ever outdone a Master of Horror. Hitcher ’07’s Dave Meyers stands half a chance against Hitcher ‘86’s Robert Harmon (no Master is he). The new Hitcher reminded me just how slick and effective writer Eric Red’s cautionary tale is (its moral is simple; leave those thumbers on the side of the road). Red’s thriller is naturally propelled by its road movie structure, and new screenwriter Jake Wade Wall (When a Stranger Calls ’06) smartly changes little of unrelenting madman John Ryder’s (Sean Bean) unleashing holy hell. On this trip, Ryder chooses to play his game with two lovebirds (“One Tree Hill”’s Sophia Bush and Zachary Knighton) traveling to Lake Havasu for spring break. I still prefer my victims lone like the original Jim Halsey (C. Thomas Howell) and Bean’s not nearly as creepy as Rutger Hauer, all dead blue eyes and white-blonde hair. Nevertheless, The Hitcher ’07 should be good enough to get the ball rolling on that Eric Red renaissance for which I’ve been silently clamoring. (Beechwood, Carmike, Highway 17 Theatres)

HUKKLE

(NR) 2002. Hungarian writer-director Gyorgy Paifl won 14 worldwide awards, including a European Film Award for European Discovery of the Year, for his uncategorizable film. Is it “a nature documentary, a murder mystery, a musical, or a complex puzzle?” Without almost no dialogue, it’s hard to tell as the residents of a small rural Hungarian town - an old man with hiccups, a shepherdess, an old woman of spurious motive, and more - conceal a secret. For more information, visit the museum’s website, www.uga.edu/gamuseum. Shows Wednesday, 1/31 (GMOA)

NATHALIE

(NR) 2003. Beautiful French prostitute Marlene (Emmanuelle Béart) takes the name Nathalie as she investigates the suspected infidelity of Bernard (Gérard Depardieu) for his wife, Catherine (Fanny Ardant). Can Nathalie’s reports be trusted? Is Bernard truly unfaithful? Ardant and Béart were both nominated for European Film Awards for Best Actress. Written and directed by Anne Fontaine. Part of the Department of Theatre and Film Studies’ (and Dr. Neupert’s) annual French Film Fest. Shows Monday, 1/29 (Tate)

A NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM

(PG) After taking a job as a night guard at the Museum of Natural History, Larry (Stiller) discovers the displays come to life when the sun goes down. Maybe I should officially turn in my Ben Stiller Fan Club membership. Though I don’t blame Ben for taking the lucrative family film route, Night at the Museum is a barely amusing romp due in large part to everyone but its star and it showcases the comedian in all his childish unlikability. (Beechwood, Carmike, Highway 17 Theatres)

NOTES ON A SCANDAL

(R) Director Richard Eyre (Stage Beauty, Iris) and screenwriter Patrick Marber (Closer) return with a scorching drama about Sheba, a married teacher (Cate Blanchett) who has an affair with a 15-year-old student. The affair is discovered by an older, bitter and lonely teacher (Judi Dench) who blackmails Sheba into becoming her "friend." Intense performances from both leads, as well as Bill Nighy as Sheba's husband, have garnered this film numerous nominations and awards, including a Best Actress nod for Dench, Best Supporting Actress for Blanchett, Best Score for composer Philip Glass and Best Adapted Screenplay for Marber. Opens Friday (Beechwood)

OPEN SEASON

(PG) As the voice of Elliot, an obnoxious mule deer exiled from his herd, Ashton Kutcher goofs around the woods for an hour and a half. Unappealing voicework and animation as alluring as a strip mine mar Sony Pictures Animation’s first full-length feature. (Georgia Square 5)

PAN'S LABYRINTH

(R) See Movie Pick. (Beechwood)

PRIMEVAL

(R) Could my early January slate get any better than this combination of two favored sub-genres, modern Africa and killer animals? Actually, it can. Primeval, based on the real-live 20-foot croc who’s eaten hundreds along the shores of Lake Tanganyika in Burundi, starts out with television-like efficiency, technical cleanliness and stylistic ignorance (director Michael Katleman is a WB veteran). Primeval starts strong but peters out as the croc plot is swallowed by some weak politicizing. Ends Thursday (Beechwood, Carmike)

THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS

(PG-13) Devoted father and salesman Chris Gardner (Will Smith) finds himself homeless, but with pluck, moxie and a little luck, he lands on his feet when Dean Witter offers him a job after an unpaid internship. In adapting the real Gardner’s life, Steven Conrad (The Weather Man) sickeningly reifies most Americans’ belief that the plight of the homeless can be eradicated through hard work. (Carmike); Ends Thursday (Beechwood)

THE QUEEN

(PG-13) The Queen is a royal “West Wing,” allowing a glimpse behind the throne. Portraying her second Elizabeth in a year, Golden Globe winner Helen Mirren brings all her graceful control and ice-cold radiance to a Royal Majesty bungling the sudden death of constant thorn in her crown, Diana. Fortunately for Elizabeth, her new PM, Tony Blair (Michael Sheen), is willing to “save [those] people [the Windsors] from themselves.” Already a Golden Globe winner, Peter Morgan’s screenplay - last year’s best - posits what transpired in the private chambers of the monarchy with a deftly light comic touch that detracts nothing from its dark gravity. Compassion and a stiff jigger of humor coronate The Queen the most unpredictably entertaining film of the year. (Beechwood)

ROCKY BALBOA

(PG) Rocky finds loneliness to be the one opponent he can’t keep on the mat. A platonic relationship with a minor character from the first film helps Rocky cope with the deliberate absence of his son (Milo Ventimiglia, “Heroes”), but true relief comes from a computer-generated bout between Rocky and the current undisputed champion, Mason “The Line” Dixon (Antonio Tarver). The bittersweet, reflective Rocky Balboa is a winner, and Rocky is still the champion. (Highway 17 Theatres); Ends Thursday (Carmike)

SMOKIN’ ACES

(R) This hip action comedy stars Jeremy “Ari Gold” Piven as Buddy Israel, a Vegas performer whose last show might be as an FBI snitch when seven hitmen descend upon his suite for what I hope is one entertaining bloodbath. Could Smokin’ Aces be this winter’s sneaky cool Lucky Number Slevin? Then again, it could be even better. With Ben Affleck, Jason Bateman, Andy Garcia, Alicia Keys, Ray Liotta and Ryan Reynolds. Opens Friday (Beechwood, Carmike)

STOMP THE YARD

(PG-13) Stomp the Yard isn’t half-bad. It follows DJ (Columbus Short, “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip”) from underground street dancing in L.A. to the beautiful campuses of the Atlanta University Center. After his brother Duron is killed, DJ goes to live with his aunt and uncle in middle class, African-American Atlanta and attend Truth University. A talented dancer, DJ soon finds rival fraternities fighting over his skills to ensure a victory at the national step show competition. He also meets the beautiful April (Meagan Good, Waist Deep), who is of course dating one of the top frat guys. Stomp the Yard may just be a good old competition movie, but the choreography’s fly and the surrounding melodrama not out of step. (Beechwood, Carmike)

STRANGER THAN FICTION

(PG-13) As Harold Crick, an IRS agent who hears of his impending death from the English woman narrating his life, Will Ferrell does a less showy job of being dramatic than Jim Carrey did in The Truman Show. No matter its imperfections, Fiction is no stranger, and a lot better, than your typical congenial diversion. (Georgia Square 5)

THIS IS SPINAL TAP

(R) 1984. Director Rob Reiner’s comedy launched the mockumentary subgenre. David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean), Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest), and Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer) comprise Spinal Tap, a brainless metal band whose flameout of a new album and American tour are captured by documentarian Marty DiBergi’s (Reiner) camera. The only experience funnier than watching Spinal Tap is watching the DVD with the commentary conducted by St. Hubbins, Tufnel and Smalls. This Is Spinal Tap goes all the way to 11 and beyond. Shows Thursday, 1/25 (Tate)

THE U.S. VS. JOHN LENNON

(PG-13) I’ll bet you were not aware that John Lennon invented the concept of peace. I wasn’t either. Thankfully, this entertaining, self-congratulatory documentary about him paints an impressionist portrait of Lennon as the most important peacenik to ever grace the planet. However, Lennon wasn’t the only songwriter channeling antiwar anger into catchy ditties; he was just the only one “bigger than Jesus” who was doing so. Lennon’s lasting allure to writing-directing duo David Leaf and John Scheinfeld is understandable, and their documentary does a wonderful job of solving the equation John + Yoko = x. Shows Friday, 1/25–Sunday, 1/28 (Tate)

VOLVER

(R) Spanish auteur Pedro Almodóvar (Talk to Her) has been receiving high marks for his first comedy in years. After her death, Abuela Irene (Carmen Maura) returns to her two daughters, Raimunda and Sole (Penélope Cruz and Lola Dueñas), and her granddaughter, Paula (Yohana Cobo), in order to solve the problems she could not take care of while she was alive. The film garnered two awards from Cannes (Best Actress - for the entire female ensemble - and Best Screenplay) and was nominated for the Palme d’Or. Opens Friday (Beechwood)

WE ARE MARSHALL

(PG) Allowing McG (Charlie’s Angels) to bring the greatest tragedy in college sports history - the 1970 plane crash that killed 75 Marshall football players, coaches and fans - is like letting Michael Bay tackle Pearl Harbor. (We saw how well that turned out.) The games are full of energy, suspense and pure adrenaline. It’s the emotion he fumbles and the musky We Are Marshall stinks of cheap sentimentality. Still, try and breathe when the whole film comes down to one play, one moment. Ends Thursday (Beechwood, Carmike)

WHO ARE THE DEBOLTS? AND WHERE DID THEY GET NINETEEN KIDS?

(NR) 1977. This documentary won an Oscar and Emmy for peeking into the lives of the Dorothy and Bob Debolt, who are raising their 19 adopted children, many of whom are war orphans. Narrated by Henry Winkler, Who Are the Debolts? also won the Director’s Guild of America Award for Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Documentary. Part of the ACC Library’s iFilms series. Shows Thursday, 1/25 (ACC Library)

WHY WE FIGHT

(PG-13) 2005. A Sundance Film Festival Grand Jury Prize winner, Why We Fight, from director Eugene Jarecki, looks at Dwight D. Eisenhower’s “military industrial complex,” whose lustful, incestuous nature has led to America’s present state of armed arousal. Featuring interviews with John McCain, Gore Vidal, and an archived Ike. Shows Tuesday, 1/30 (Georgia Theatre)