originally published November 29, 2006

BARNYARD

(PG) Otis (Kevin James), a carefree young Holstein, refuses to settle down until his pops Ben (Sam Elliott), gets offed by a pack of coyotes. Pretty creepy to behold and a bit more serious than the preview lets on, Barnyard is the slightest animated kiddie flick of the season. (Georgia Square 5)

BOBBY

(PG-13) If not for writer-director-star Emilio Estevez’s strong stable of actors (Anthony Hopkins, Freddy Rodriguez, Joshua Jackson, Lindsay Lohan, Elijah Wood, William H. Macy, Sharon Stone, Demi Moore, Christian Slater and Papa Sheen all deliver noteworthy performances), his not-really-a-biopic would not have been nearly as effective. Estevez writes in clumsy clichés; he directs with them, too. The film is cluttered with far too many trite actors (Nick Cannon does not fare well as a young activist; neither does Ashton Kutcher as a considerate druggie) and one-dimensional characters (racists, sexists, progressives, oh my!) Still, Bobby, misted with earnest idealism, successfully weaves its Kennedy spell. Using archival footage (I’d have traded three subplots for more of the real Bobby), Estevez captures the royal aura of idyllic perfection surrounding the ill-fated Kennedy, who campaigned against many issues still plaguing us today (an unpopular war, illegal immigration). Estevez believes we need another Bobby. By the end of his heavy-handed film, you’ll solemnly nod in agreement. (Beechwood, Carmike)

BORAT

(R) Armed to the teeth with uncomfortable malapropisms and anti-Semitism, Kazakhstan television personality Borat Sagdiyev (Sacha Baron Cohen) travels across the United States, unmasking inner bigotry wherever he goes. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan plays its conceit to the hilt. No comedian has so totally created a three-dimensional, flesh-and-blood character since Peter Sellers in Being There. It’s hilariously textbook satire. Or is it? The film lacks a corrective purpose; the Cambridge-educated Cohen serves a stinkingly hilarious plate of mean-spirited, elitist anti-populism. While I can josh about the moral depravity of my American family, I’ll be damned if I need a supercilious Brit calling Lady Liberty a whore. With Borat, Cohen isn’t laughing with the us, he’s laughing at the us, a distinction too fine for an America as stupid as the one he exposes to make. (Beechwood, Carmike)

CASINO ROYALE

(PG-13) See Flick Skinny. How well does new 007 Daniel Craig wear the famed tux? Pretty damn well. Chronicling Bond’s first assignment as a Double O, Casino Royale charts very highly, and so does its new Bond. Bond 2.0, a reset of the 40-year-old cinematic franchise, is as explosive as the high octane Brosnan films, dark as the Daltons, and heartrending as On Her Majesty's Secret Service. I’ll need another film to confirm my assessment, but Craig is the best Bond since Connery. He exemplifies the Bond of Fleming’s novels. Gone are the frivolous, featherweight Bonds. Director Martin Campbell crafts an even more stylish, streamlined - if longer - film than Goldeneye. Every fight in Casino Royale includes the most vicious fisticuffs ever seen in a Bond film. The physicality of the free-running stunts is exhaustingly exciting. Still, Bond is no longer a veteran of the Double O ranks; he fails to perform with anything nearing his usually slick perfection and feckless arrogance nearly dooms him. I don’t know where the Bond franchise is headed, but I do know nobody’s done it better than Casino Royale and Daniel Craig in a long, long time. (Beechwood, Carmike, Highway 17 Theatres)

DECK THE HALLS

(PG) This purported comedy holds little appeal for adults not saddled with children eager to see any new piece of big-screen holiday crap. Is there a human being left alive who has yet to learn the lesson about the true meaning of Christmas? A holiday dictator, Steve Finch (Matthew Broderick, whose Bueller-fueled goodwill is mere fumes), feels his new neighbor, obnoxious little car salesman Buddy Hall (Danny DeVito), is trying to out-decorate him when Buddy lights his house up to be seen from space. The slapsticky competition that ensues is only slightly less funny than the actual words coming out of the actor’s mouths. (It’s not as if anyone’s actually acting; they’re just reading scripts.) Busty little Christian comedienne Kristin Chenoweth deserves better than wife roles in unfunny family film hell - the place Kristin Davis (The Shaggy Dog) has been since lights went out in the (“Sex and the City.” Subtle and destructive as a nuclear hammer, this sex-obsessed family flick just might make the year-end Worst of List. Here’s hoping. (Beechwood, Carmike, Highway 17 Theatres)

DÉJÀ VU

(PG-13) Déjà Vu is your standard Jerry Bruckheimer dish. First, hire a chef with a proven track record of successfully overcooking his meals (Tony Scott). Then select a topnotch piece of beef (Denzel Washington). Marinate the beef in a complicated sauce reminiscent of other highly successful entrees. Toss in a mix of vegetables, some green (Paula Patton) and some seasoned (Val Kilmer, Jim Caviezel). Be sure to overcook. Take care not to burn the dish, but under no circumstances should it taste like anything you’d ever eat again. This sci fi/ action/ romance is never as tricky as it thinks it is, but it’s not a bad way to spend an evening, either. ATF agent Doug Carlin (Washington, who I am so over until he signs on to a film worthy of his wasted talent) joins a top secret government task force, led by Kilmer, to stop the explosion he’s currently investigating from ever happening. The flick tries to blow some scientific mumbo-jumbo up the audience’s collective ass, but it’s too boring and complicated. Ignore the science, enjoy the action. Seeing Déjà Vu once isn’t bad, but I hope the feeling never returns. (Beechwood, Carmike)

FLICKA

(PG) Katie (Alison Lohman) hopes breaking wild mustang Flicka can prove her ranch handiness to daddy (Tim McGraw). Lohman is always impressive, even if her career choices oddly seesaw between adult and innocent. Flicka’s no stud, but sometimes all a family needs is a steady workhorse. (Georgia Square 5)

FLUSHED AWAY

(PG) Expecting Aardman Animations’ first fully-CGI feature to be as emotionally engaging and stupendously entertaining as Wallace and Gromit is unfair, it's still better than most cartoons, though. After being flushed from his plush home, “society mouse” Roddy (v. Hugh Jackman) enters an ingenious under-London world, which he and pal Rita (v. Kate Winslet) battle the villainous Toad (v. Ian McKellan). Directors Sam Fell and David Bowers and their five screenwriters are a clever bunch, creatively using household flushables to power life in rodent city. (Beechwood, Carmike)

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

(PG-13) One thing’s for sure. Christopher Guest’s mockumentaries aren’t getting any funnier. The fourth, a lampooning of L.A., is still smarter and snappier than most aborted comedies. Guest and co-writer Eugene Levy pointedly skewer Hollywood’s buzz making the movie rather the logical way around. It’s just that Consideration is chortle-worthy, not gut-busting. Filming an atrocious Southern-set tragedy, Home for Purim, about a dying Jewish matriarch and her estranged daughter, three actors (Catherine O’Hara, Harry Shearer, and Parker Posey) contract undeserved Oscar fever. A reunion of Guest’s comically talented extended family - Levy, Fred Willard, Michael McKean, Jennifer Coolidge, John Michael Higgins, Jane Lynch, Ed Begley Jr., Bob Balaban, Michael Hitchcock and Jim Piddock - allows Higgins the opportunity to capture a little limelight as part-Choctaw publicist Corey Tate (would you be surprised he goes by JoJo at home?). Career criminal Willard, a cluelessly ass-inine Hollywood “news” show host with a faux-hawk and an earring, doesn’t leave much of scenic value for his peers, but Ricky Gervais is disappointingly ill-used. If you’ve worn out your DVDs of Guffman and Best in Show, consider a trip to the multiplex. If you’re a Guest virgin, don’t make Consideration your first. (Carmike)

THE FOUNTAIN

(PG-13) See Movie Pick. (Beechwood)

THE GRUDGE 2

(PG-13) It’s official. Horror is doomed. The second Americanized Grudge from director Takashi Shimizu redirects the arbitrary anger of Kayako, the croaking, coal-eyed ghost who was murdered by a jealous hubby, from Sarah Michelle Gellar, the heroine of the original Grudge, to her sister, Aubrey (Amber Tamblyn, looking more and more like Marcia Gay Harden). (Georgia Square 5)

THE GUARDIAN

(PG-13) Too physically damaged and mentally scarred to return to the water, gallant Ben Randall (Kevin Costner) is transferred to the extremely elite “A” School, where the attrition rate of potential Rescue Swimmers, like cocky Jake Fischer (Ashton Kutcher), is over 50 percent. As a by-the-numbers military training flick, The Guardian doesn’t dissatisfy, though it would’ve been more intriguing had it broken ranks. (Georgia Square 5)

HAPPY FEET

(PG) Mumble the penguin (effectively voiced by Elijah Wood) takes an eye-popping, breathtaking journey from dropped egg to societal savior. Happy Feet taps out a fresh rhythm to which you can dance when it’s not delivering pat lessons on religious intolerance and environmental destruction. A rather documentarian opening marches these penguins smack into a rather red-nosed sampling of my favorite holiday song/ stop-motion animated special. Not until the Amigos, led by the infectious Ramon (Robin Williams), does the cold Happy Feet thaw somewhat. Thinking visually, the musically gifted Happy Feet fails to act narratively. (Beechwood, Carmike)

LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE

(R) This Sundance crowd-pleaser’s dark ray of sunshine doesn’t disappoint. A dysfunctional family piles into their VW van to get sweet, hopeful Olive (Abigail Breslin) to the Little Miss Sunshine pageant. It’s no wonder Sunshine was such a festival hit. However, I can no longer tell my jaded, disaffected hipster families apart. Shows Friday, 12/1–Sunday, 12/3 (Tate)

THE MARINE

(PG-13) Amidst a horde of humdrum fights and explosions, real-life wrestler John Cena’s John Triton cheats death while attempting to rescue his wife (Kelly Carlson) from murderous thief Rome (Robert Patrick). A weekly installment of "Smackdown!" packs more humor and excitement than this frozen slab of beef. (Georgia Square 5)

THE NATIVITY STORY

(PG) I’m pretty sure you know the story. Boy meets girl. Girl gets immaculately knocked up by the Supreme Being. I guess the producers were courting controversy (no publicity’s bad publicity) when they hired Thirteen director Catherine Hardwicke to film the pre-Jesus life of Mary and Joseph. The added bonus of 16-year-old star Keisha Castle-Hughes (Whale Rider) becoming pregnant - out of wedlock, natch - was just icing on the cake. Written by Mike Rich (Finding Forrester, The Rookie, Radio). (Beechwood, Carmike, Highway 17 Theatres)

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST

(PG-13) Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) must retrieve the compass of Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) for a power-hungry noble. Meanwhile, Captain Jack is pursued by sea demon Davy Jones (Bill Nighy). Depp still slurs and swishes across the screen, but, called upon to again rescue an entire film, finds himself a few witty doubloons short. (Georgia Square 5)

THE QUEEN

(PG-13) After an award winning turn in HBO’s Elizabeth I, Helen Mirren goes for the royal double, playing Elizabeth II in the same year. After the death of Princess Diana, Queen Elizabeth (Mirren) and Tony Blair (Michael Sheen in his second turn as the PM for Queen director Stephen Frears) struggle to balance private royal tragedy with public mourning. Mirren, Frears, and screenwriter Peter Morgan already own accolades from the Venice Film Festival. Could Dame Helen score her third Oscar nomination or, better yet, her first win? With James Cromwell as Prince Philip. (Beechwood)

THE SANTA CLAUSE 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE

(G) If you’re looking to get your holly jollies early, your cinematic sleigh has arrived. SC3 may use every elfin pun imaginable as Jack Frost (Martin Short) challenges the reign of Santa/ Scott Calvin (Tim Allen), but nothing about the high-concept, low-imagination flick is terrible. SC3 is just an old-fashioned family holiday film. (Beechwood, Carmike)

STRANGER THAN FICTION

(PG-13) As Harold Crick, an IRS agent who hears of his impending death from the English woman narrating his life, Will Ferrell does a less showy job of being dramatic than Jim Carrey did in The Truman Show. Amazingly, Ferrell, with the most reliable delivery in the business, is as funny as the straight Crick as he was the demented Ricky Bobby. If only he were a stronger romantic lead. The romance between Crick and pretty baker Ana Pascal (Maggie Gyllenhaal) feels false. Marc Forster over-directs Fiction with intense inconsistency. Fortunately, Zach Helm’s screenplay shows the softer side of Being Charlie Kaufman. You can actually see the end of his just-intricate-enough maze. No matter its imperfections, Fiction is no stranger, and a lot better, than your typical congenial diversion. (Beechwood, Carmike)

TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY

(PG-13) Using the basic three-act race movie structure popularized by Days of Thunder, Ricky (Will Ferrell) goes from pit crew to victory lane in less than 200 frames. Talladega Nights is poised to take this year’s Comedy Cup. (Georgia Square 5)

TENACIOUS D IN THE PICK OF DESTINY

(R) Tenacious D rocks. The band, not the movie. The D’s movie suffers the same fate of the band’s HBO series. Whenever PoD brings the rock, the film blasts off the screen (the speakers were turned up to 11 in the theater I was in). But once the thrashing, Tommy-esque rock opera opening number - including Meat Loaf as JB’s religio-fascist daddy - ends, PoD falls into standard sketchy comedy territory. Say what you will about Jack Black (I often say he works up a pretty good sweat to not be that funny), but he and fellow D-er Kyle Gass constitute a kick-ass metal tribute band. I know RJD - Ronnie James Dio, to those not up on their metal history - sits on his throne in some demonic kingdom, listening to The D in between slaying dragons and writing new tunes (I know this because he makes a loving cameo from said throne). Written by Black, Gass and director Liam Lynch (Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic), PoD further proves Black is no comedy superstar. Pick of Destiny may not rock, but The D most definitely is the greatest fake rock and roll band in the world - behind Spinal Tap, of course. (Beechwood, Carmike)

TURISTAS

(R) Or Hostel in a warmer clime. Josh Duhamel (“Las Vegas”) heads a group of backpackers trapped in a Brazilian beach town. Exploitation flicks have fared so well at the box office (Hostel) and with critics (Rob Zombie’s The Devil’s Rejects, Wolf Creek) that director John Stockwell (the underrated Crazy/Beautiful, Blue Crush, Into the Blue) has decided to see how successfully he can torture pretty young adults. With Melissa George (“Alias,” The Amityville Horror). (Carmike)

VAN WILDER 2: RISE OF THE TAJ

(R) Can Kal Penn (Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle) be as incorrigible a collegiate sex addict as Ryan Reynolds, who reportedly pops up in a cameo? Probably not, but that didn’t stop the producers from promoting this sequel from direct-to-video to feature film release. Taj Mahal Badalandabad jets across the Pond to teach the finer points of American higher education to some tweedy Englishmen (and one busty English lass). From the director of Boat Trip. Carmike